Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Album Review: Ed Sheeran's Divide

Guys, I'm no music critic but I haven't heard an album this good in a long time. Ed Sheeran is an absolute stud when it comes to putting out hits, and he did not disappoint at all with this new album. This is about as perfect an album as there can be. Not one song on here where my first reaction was "oh this isn't that great, coulda been better." Nope, just all fucking straight heat seeking missiles of volcanic fire flames. I only do song by song reviews for absolutely incredible albums -- which this is -- so here we go...

1. "Eraser": Great start to the 'bum. When it first starts you don't really have any clue that it turns into a banger by the chorus, but it does anyway and it crushes. Heat.

2. "Castle on the Hill": This was released a while ago, but it still might be my favorite song on the album. Just a song Ed wrote on the fly about growing up apparently. Said it was cliche but wanted to do it anyway. Well I'm glad he did because this song is electric. Thich Quang Durc.

3. "Dive": Ed hits you with the first inevitable heart breaking tune here in track 3. Dude is good for like 5 or 6 songs that make you wanna cry every album he tosses out. And they're all incredible. No different here. Flames

4. "Shape of You": First single off the album and it was a solid pick to be so. Upbeat, feel good song. Love it. Everyone knows this song is good af so not much else to say. Fire.

5. "Perfect": First ballad of the 'bum. I have no clue how Ed writes all these unreal love songs but he's one of the best at it, if not THE best. Lava.

6. "Galway Girl": Possibly my favorite song on the album. Just absolutely incredible sound and feel to it. Made to sound like a little Irish tune, this song is just a straight jam. Pompeii-Crushing Hot Ash.

7. "Happier": Get ready to cry again, folks. Ed's got another soul crushing break up tune for ya. Straight Napalm

8. "New Man": I love this song. Honestly pretty hilarious, and it bangs too. Scorched Earth.

9. "Hearts Don't Break Around Here": Nice little ballad again here from Ed. Guy just knows how to write amazing songs. En Fuego

10. "What Do I Know?": Ed gets a little philosophical with this tune. Love can change the world. Well I don't know about that sir, but what do I know? Dante's Inferno.

11. "How Would You Feel (Paean)": God, Eddie just cannot stop making juicy love songs, can he? You wanna know how I'd feel if you told me you loved me, Ed? I'd cum to Jupiter. Blazing Bonfire.

12. "Supermarket Flowers": Oh another song that will make you cry? Thanks Ed. This one is actually sad af though. No one can make sad songs sound so good better than Sheeran and this is just another example. Sizzling Embers.

13. "Barcelona": In love with this absolute JAM. Suuuuuch a good song. How Ed makes songs like this and Supermarket Flowers and make them so well is just beyond me. Chicago Circa October 1871.

14. "Bibia Be Ye Ye": No clue what this song means but it plays. And plays hard. Fuocco.

15. "Nancy Mulligan": I'm pretty sure this is about his grandparents. I wish I could write this good of a song about my grandparents. Would be dope. Also pretty much how I imagine every marriage before like 1970 going down. The Sun.

16. "Save Myself": Finishes it off with a slow little piece. Woulda liked a jam to round out the 'bum, but like I said...All of these songs are fantastic. Pure Scintillation.

Hands down one of the best albums I've ever listened to. Ed Sheeran gets it. Stud. Enjoy folks.

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