This Whole Hitler Palm Analysis Thing Going Around the Internet Today is So Stupid

Source: In order to gain insight into the behavior and personality of one of history's most brutal tyrants, palmist Josef Ranald analyzed Hitler's handprint prior to World War II.

In 1938, Ranald published his findings in his book, "How to Know People By Their Hands," even though he was concerned about giving too detailed a description of Hitler's palm.

Ranald feared that "others, finding signs similar to one or two of Hitler's in their own hands may assign to themselves the qualities which make Hitler what he is," he writes.

"For this reason, I wish again to emphasize that no single sign or set of signs can be read apart from the indications of the hand as a whole. It is only from the study of the totality of a hand that an accurate analysis can be made."

Ranald also studied the palms of Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Walt Disney.

Life Line

Hitler's line of life, which arches around his thumb, ends in a cross near the base of his hand. The cross signals a "violent end" to his life, according to Ranald.

Destiny Line

"This line marks the destiny of a man whose fate is out of his control," Ranald writes. Hitler's destiny line on his palm shows that he will serve "an awful, tragic role" in life.

"The destiny line, you will note, stretches unbroken and bare from its tragic beginning to its violent end," Ranald writes.

Underneath the Jupiter and Saturn fingers

The base of the Jupiter finger first shows that Hitler is a bully with "boundless ambition" that demands "blind submission from everyone," according to Ranald.

The base of the Saturn finger indicates "moodiness, wide swings from one emotional extreme to another [and] suicidal morbidity at one moment..." His fingers also show that he is delusional and obsessed with power.

Line of head

Hitler's line of head ends in the middle of his palm which indicates "some kind of weakness — functional or organic — of the brain," Ranald writes. 

Heart line

Hitler's short and broken heart line shows that he is frustrated, bitter, and cruel. "The broken, distorted girdle of Venus above the line of heart accentuates the destructiveness and unnaturalness of this hand," Ranald writes.

I don't wanna say that you can't tell anything about someone from looking at the lines on their palms cause I don't really know anything about it, but at the same time this is so dumb. Are we supposed to believe that this was some sort of telling sign that Hitler was a bad person? Hey guy, in 1938 wasn't Hitler already wanting to destroy Czechoslovakia and bullying Austria and starting to blame the Jews for everything and fucking peoples' lives up if they disagreed with him? Not that hard to say Hitler was a violent man while he's saying he wants to bomb the Czechs. Fuck this Ranald guy. Thinking he's on to something with this palm shit. I think it was pretty clear at the time that Adolf Hitler was gonna live a violent life. Don't need your analysis of his palm to tell me that. Oh he has nothing below his pointer finger? Must mean he's a bully! Oh really? That doesn't have anything to do with the fact that at the time he was firing people left and right if they didn't agree with him? This Ranald guy may be dead now but I hate him. Everyone else may see this shit and think you're a genius, but I'm on to you Josef Ranald. The theories in this analysis are literally just based on what Hitler was actually doing at the time. Like sick bro, you were following world events. That's really all I took away from this. That in 1938, Josef Ranald was following world events. I guess I'll give him credit for trying to scam the world into thinking he's a genius and make some money off some stupid book of hands. 

Here's another source that shows the palms of FDR and Mussolini as well. The guy says that FDR had "liberal views" and was "social minded." NO WAY! YOU THINK SO?! You could tell that all from looking at a picture of his fucking palm?! You sure that had nothing to do with the fact that he had just implemented the New Deal? You know, that whole huge series of social programs designed to get the US out of the Great Depression? Does that ring a bell Josef? I mean the supporters of the New Deal were called Liberals! No fucking shit FDR had liberal views and was social minded. This guy absolutely sucks. 

And he continued to spew his bullshit with the Benito Mussolini analysis. The guy called him an "oversexed, violent person." Oh damn Josef Ranald. I think you're on to something. Who woulda thought that the fascist dictator who was an ally of Nazi Germany and had a ton of mistresses was violent and oversexed? Thanks for reading his palms and telling us that though bro. Great work. Fucking idiot. If anyone read this in 1938 there's no way anyone was like "Hey guys did you see that palm reading book that nerd wrote? Probably shoulda locked up Hitler when he was six. All we had to do was look at his palms. So senseless!"

Is my hand okay?

Shit. Don't see anything below my pointer finger. Must be a bully. I don't even have a Destiny Line! Hitler's was long and unbroken, with a cross at one end. That meant he was out of control and his life was shit pretty much. So maybe I'm in control and have a good life? I'd be 1 for 2 on that one if that were the case. I have some of the worst self control you'll see from a human being. Buuut I do have a pretty good life. Don't really know what to say about everything else. Basically, I just think I'm not Hitler. Really needed this guy's analysis to tell me that though. 

P.S. No I'm not that good at history. I'm good but not that good. Had to double check the timing of things to make sure my points were valid. S/O to Wikipedia for that. 

Connecticut Boycotts Indiana

Source: WASHINGTON -- Connecticut Gov. Dan Malloy (D) will sign an executive order on Monday barring state-funded travel to Indiana because of the state's new law that could allow businesses to turn away gay and lesbian customers for religious reasons.

Malloy announced his plans on Twitter. 

Malloy's move would make Connecticut the first state to boycott Indiana over its Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which Gov. Mike Pence (R) quietly signed into law last week. The law allows businesses in the state to cite religious beliefs as a legal defense. Opponents fear it offers legal protection for businesses to refuse service to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

A Pence spokeswoman did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Two cities, San Francisco and Seattle, have imposed similar bans in response to the law. Businesses have also retaliated. Angie's List is pulling a campus expansion project in Indianapolis, and the CEO of Salesforce, a $4 billion software corporation, announced plans to "dramatically reduce our investment" in the state because of the law.

Twenty states have RFRA laws, but Indiana's law is substantially different. While other state RFRAs apply to disputes between a person and a government, Indiana's law goes further and applies to disputes between private citizens. That means, for example, a business owner could use the law to justify discrimination against customers who might otherwise be protected under law.

Indiana's law also differs from the federal RFRA, which President Bill Clinton signed into law in 1993, for the same reason.

Last month, 30 law professors with expertise in religious freedom explained why the Indiana law could lead to "confusion and conflict."

The Indiana law could result in "employers, landlords, small business owners, or corporations, taking the law into their own hands and acting in ways that violate generally applicable laws on the grounds that they have a religious justification for doing so," reads their letter. "Members of the public will then be asked to bear the cost of their employer's, their landlord's, their local shopkeeper's, or a police officer's private religious beliefs."

That's in sharp contrast to states like Connecticut, which has an RFRA but one that pertains only to religious institutions, not private establishments. And unlike some other states, Connecticut also doesn't permit discrimination based on sexual orientation in any private establishment or institution.

Malloy would overreact and boycott an entire fucking state. The guy is such a dweeb. Wake up bro, it's not that big of a deal. It's not like the law in Indiana says no gays allowed. It says businesses can use religion as a legal defense. Hey people freaking out about this law, you ever think a business might have a certain set of values? If some of those values are religious in nature, is that not allowed? Also, not every single religious person is discriminatory against gays. Not trying to get political here, but since my home state is one of the more idiotic ones out there, I might have to. Liberals have it worked into their brains that every single Christian hates gay people. Hey, you ever think to yourself that maybe you're looking a little too much into this law. Preeeetty sure it was designed to do just what it says. Allow businesses who want to use religion as legal defense to do just that. Do people seriously read a law like that and think to themselves "OMG Indiana hates gay people, gotta boycott them"? Oh, how it would suck to have the brain that thinks that. I fucking guarantee some kumquat is gonna go into a clothing store in Indiana and announce he's gay and the guy at the counter won't give one single fuck and the gay guy is gonna try to say he wouldn't let him shop in the store because he's gay. That's how the world works in 2015. Just fabricate bullshit and turn it into a story or a lawsuit or a protest or a riot. Fucking people man. 

A-Rod's Reaction to Playing First Base is So A-Rod

ESPN: KISSIMMEE, Fla. -- The best first basemen, like the best umpires, are the ones you hardly notice. They're not supposed to interest you, excite you, or make you nervous. If they're doing their jobs correctly, you'd barely even know they were out there.

On this day, however, a first baseman for the New York Yankees was definitely the center of attention. For one particular play, he was an object of fascination because this first baseman was Alex Rodriguez, and in his 21st season in the big leagues, was about to attempt something he had never done before: Range to his right, field a ground ball, pivot and flip the baseball with just enough arc to lead his pitcher to first base.

A routine play for just about any first baseman. For A-Rod, a bit of an adventure, of course, because isn't everything?

Although his 39-1/2 year old legs carried him to the baseball, the grounder off the bat of Evan Gattis popped up and out of the unfamiliar leather appendage on A-Rod's left hand. For a moment it looked as if the experiment would end in utter humiliation and failure. Or at the very least, an infield hit.

But just as quickly, the ball settled back into the glove, and using those great hands that made him a standout shortstop and a better-than-good third baseman for more than two decades, A-Rod turned, flipped the ball to lead Nathan Eovaldi to the bag, and the out was made.

"That was a very uncomfortable play, that’s for sure,'' Rodriguez said. "Kind of an in-between hop for a righthander. I’m just glad we got a guy out. I felt like a quarterback hitting my tight end on the run. I’ve never done that before.''

That was as dramatic as it got for him at first base, the second of three chances. The other two were routine groundouts, although it did appear from the pressbox as if he might have pulled his foot off the bag a tick too soon on the first one, and first base umpire Greg Gibson gave it a good, hard look before signaling the out.

"It felt good. It was fun,'' Rodriguez said after his abbreviated 3-1/2 inning appearance. "It was quite interesting, after 20 years to see the game through a totally different lens. It was pretty cool.''

He also said he believed that if necessary, he could play the position in a real game. "I came up watching and admiring Keith Hernandez,'' he said, "so I tried to emulate one of my heroes growing up.''

Let's not get carried away here. There are still so many things Rodriguez has not done at first base, either in practice or in a practice game, which is what spring training is. He was never asked to turn a 3-6-3 double play, nor, thanks to Eovaldi's effectiveness (4 2/3 IP, 3 hits, 0 runs, 0 walks, 5 Ks), did he ever have to hold on a runner or position himself to cut off a relay throw. And, perhaps surprisingly, no Houston Astros player thought to test him with a bunt.

"If they would have tested me they probably would have done very well today,'' he said, rather modestly.

If nothing else, A-Rod proved he could play the most basic kind of first base at a competent level. As Girardi admitted, using him out there in a real game would be a sign that something had gone very, very wrong in Yankeeland. "It’s not something we’re looking to do, it’s if something happens to one of our other guys,'' Girardi said. "I would feel comfortable throwing him out there. I think he can handle it just fine.''

Earlier in the day, the prospect loomed like a possibility when word came that Mark Teixeira had left a minor-league game after being hit in the right knee with a pitch. But Girardi assured all that Tex had merely suffered a bruise, treatable not with a scalpel but an icepack, and that he would be just fine by Wednesday, the next time he is scheduled to play.

Still, it must be comforting to know that A-Rod is teachable at first. Really, it is hardly surprising, since he had already made the transition from shortstop to third base when he joined the Yankees 10 years ago. Besides, as he said to me when the great experiment was first floated at the beginning of spring training, "If you've played shortstop in this league, you can play anywhere on the field.''

I didn't bother asking him if he could pitch or catch, but I got the idea. First base would be easy.

In fact, this entire spring has been easy for A-Rod, which is a bit surprising considering he hasn't played in a real game since September 2013 and his 40th birthday is less than four months away. He had another hit in Sunday's 7-0 win over the Astros at Osceola County Stadium, raising his spring training average to .324. Only one Yankee, Chase Headley, has more hits than Rodriguez (16 to 12), and the two are tied for the team lead in home runs with 3.

As much as many people would have liked to see him disappear after his 162-game suspension for a PED violation and subsequent grievance against baseball and the Yankees -- the bitterness over which still lingers in his own team's front office -- there's just no getting rid of Alex Rodriguez. He has gone from the man without a country in January to, probably, the Yankees' full-time DH when the season opens on April 6. He has yet to make a misstep, either on the field, with the media, or so far as we know, in the clubhouse, and it's really hard to conceive of how this spring could possibly have gone any better for him.

"I’m just happy to be playing baseball,'' he said. "I’m here to play baseball, I’m here to do exactly what my bosses want me to do, and I just want to help the team win. I’ll tell you that I’m a lot more happy, fortunate, and grateful than I was twelve months ago.''

Not only that. He now owns a first baseman's glove, and believe it or not, he knows how to use it.

How does anyone not love A-Rod? I mean yeah he's a douche for using steroids and lying and all that shit, but get over it. A bunch of people have used steroids. Not saying it's right, but no need to single out A-Rod here. The guy is a certified clown and I love every second of it. Comparing flipping the ball to the pitcher covering first base to a quarterback throwing to his tight end?!?! One of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard a baseball player say. Saying that playing first base is looking at the game through a completely different lens?!?! Hey Alex, you've played a corner infield position for ten years. All you did was go to the other side of the field and play the other corner infield position. The fact that he's so dumb that he thought that was an intelligent thing to say is hilarious to me. Everything the guy does cracks me up. These quotes are just another day of A-Rod being an absolute clown.

Aaron Rodgers (and Sam Dekker and Frank Kaminsky) Wills the Badgers to the Final Four

Another game that Aaron Rodgers attends. Another W for Wisconsin. Stick around for the final four Aaron. They're gonna need that MVP mojo to take down Kentucky (most likely). Sidenote: Frank Kaminsky and Sam Dekker were unreal tonight. Ice in the veins of Dekker.

Aaron probably had something to do with that though. Feel bad for all these teams that have to play against not only a great Wisconsin team, but also Aaron Rodgers' rooting magic. Tough draw for the field.

Fire Jam Friday

First week after spring break was a long one. Finally Friday though, so we got another FJF for ya to get the weekend started off on the right foot. Solid amount of classic rock this week, with a couple bangers, and a few pop jams. (Too Cool to Dance is unreal)

#FireJamFriday

UNC Never Stood a Chance Against Wisconsin, Aaron Rodgers was in Attendance

Oh, that's cute. You're leading at half? The Badgers aren't gonna lose in the Sweet Sixteen in front of the face of Wisconsin and his hot ass girlfriend. Poor Tar Heels never stood a chance. None of the billion fireflames suits that Roy Williams could have rocked was gonna stop Wisconsin in this one. Too many MVP vibes going for the Badgers.

TBT

You're a Fool if You Don't Go to the Greenville Road Warriors Thirsty Thursdays

Attended my first Greenville Road Warriors hockey game tonight, and it was a ton of fun. The Road Warriors are an ECHL team and an affiliate of the New York Rangers. Got a couple requests from my buddies to do a blog (couldn't tell if they were serious or not cause they were hammered) so I'm gonna do one. I had a blast so why not. 

But let me tell you something. And I'm being completely serious. If you don't go to the Road Warriors games for Thirsty Thursday nights, you're an IDIOT. $5 tickets, $2 beer, $2 hot dogs, $2 pretzels. And not to mention, the Bon Secours Wellness Arena is ELECTRIC. Sure, it was a crowd of a few hundred, but if you drink and go with a group of friends, it is nothing short of absolutely electric. 

Step by step guide to having a great fucking time at a Greenville Road Warriors game:

1. Go on a Thursday

2. Get seats close to the ice (not that fuckin hard)

3. Drink

4. Have your friends do the mid-game activities. My boy Kelan did musical chairs on ice and won. Pulled a sweet move on some dumb bitch for the win and got booed for it. The whole club team was cheering though. Fuck the haters. A free dinner for two was on the line. Gotta do what you gotta do.

5. Find a crazy black guy who is the biggest Greenville Road Warriors fan on the planet and go nuts with him.

6. Just go crazy for no reason and get on the jumbotron. Guaranteed to be on the jumbotron if you act like it's the best day of your life. 

Made the playoffs tonight with a big win over the Orlando Solar Bears. Let's fucking go.

All in all, the game was just a lot of fun, and if you don't go to one of these games, you're brainless.

P.S. The Orlando Solar Bears may have a fucking pun as their nickname, but their logo is fire.

Thurdsay Bangerz

Here we go, another Thursday Banger. We got some new Action Bronson featuring Chance The Rapper, song is absolute FIRE. Then mostly just absolute classics all across the board. 

Zayn Has Officially Left One Direction

Source: Zayn Malik has quit One Direction, the band have confirmed in a statement.

Malik said: "My life with One Direction has been more than I could ever have imagined. But, after five years, I feel like it is now the right time for me to leave the band.

"I'd like to apologise to the fans if I've let anyone down, but I have to do what feels right."

One Direction will continue their world tour as a four piece and record a fifth album later this year.

Last week, Malik walked away from the band's world tour last week after being signed off with stress.

He returned to the UK shortly after being forced to defend his relationship with his fiancee, Little Mix singer Perrie Edwards.

A photo had earlier emerged of him holding another woman around the waist. 

A second photo, taken from behind, showed Malik standing close to the woman. Their hands and arms looked as though they were linked.

In a statement, the rest of the group said: "We're really sad to see Zayn go, but we totally respect his decision and send him all our love for the future.

"The past five years have been beyond amazing - we've gone through so much together, so we will always be friends.

"The four of us will now continue. We're looking forward to recording the new album and seeing all the fans on the next stage of the world tour."

Simon Cowell, who discovered the boyband on talent show The X Factor, said: "I would like to say thank you to Zayn for everything he has done for One Direction.

"Since I first met Zayn in 2010, I have grown very, very fond - and immensely proud - of him. I have seen him grow in confidence and I am truly sorry to see him leave.

"As for One Direction, fans can rest assured that Niall, Liam, Harry and Louis are hugely excited about the future of the band."

Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson signed with Simon Cowell's record label Syco Records in 2010 after finishing third on The X Factor.

Zayn's had a tumultuous time with the band since they were formed back in 2010. He almost quit the band during bootcamp. 

Wow. This sucks. Life just isn't fair. I'm speechless. I've always said that boy bands are meant to be in fives. Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Fingerbang. All fives. And One Direction had that. Now Zayn has to be a bitch and leave cause he can't handle the boy band life. Four unreal albums in four years, and Zayn's just gonna throw it all away. Get a grip pal. Love that 1D is still going on though. Harry, Niall, Liam, and Louis aren't pussies. They're gonna go on, and they're gonna be fine. Just a little less diverse when making music. Still gonna be jams. I'll be interested to see how it'll sound without Zayn, but it can't be that much different. I'm just rambling here cause I can't really form a thought, so sorry about that. Just sad stuff man. Like I said, 1D will be fine, but it won't be the same without the five. I like all five of them together, just the perfect fucking band. Literally making some of the best music ever recorded. And now it's just four. Just not right. I'm so beyond rattled, it's unreal. You can call me "gay" or a chick or something like that for liking One Direction so much, but here's the harsh truth. If you don't like One Direction, you should go ahead and just die in a ditch and never get found. They're better than the Backstreet Boys. Better than N Sync. Better than ANY other boy band ever. Pretty much better than any band ever. I'll take that to my grave. Sure there are some solid rock bands from the 80s that I love. Dave Matthews Band is unreal. But there is no other band that has ever existed that I can just put on and listen to all their music in a row for four hours. ALL of it. ALL OF IT IS ABSOLUTE FIRE. I'm starting to get carried away here because 1D is still a band, just without Zayn. So it's not like they won't still put out fire jams, but it's just such a sad day that I have to get this all out here. 

I now know where broken hearts go. They go lie in bed and cry with a carton of ice cream listening to their entire One Direction library. 

Some of the best from the first four albums.

Dougie Hamilton Out Indefinitely

The Bruins just announced that Dougie Hamilton is out indefinitely. So I would like to announce that the Boston Bruins 2014/2015 season is officially over. Nail is in the coffin, folks. The Bruins have been struggling an insane amount on defense with the Boychuk trade, Kevan Miller is out, and now Dougie. Add into the equation that Chara is old as dirt and Seidenberg sucks, there's no way that if the Bruins somehow make the play offs that they survive. You don't do well in the play offs when you have absolutely no defense. So if the Bruins don't make the play offs, don't be surprised. Look for some big trades coming in the off season. Hopefully Chiarelli and Julien don't use the injuries to Chara and Krejci as their get out of jail free card. I think something drastic needs to change in the organization. Although, I don't think it's a problem with the system, I think it's a problem with the players within in the system. I think the Bruins could benefit from more offense and offensive mind players (remember Tyler Seguin and Phil Kessel?) I'm not too sure what Dougie's injury is but I heard rumors of it being a concussion, if it comes to this, I hope that the Bruins don't rush him back for the play offs. I think everyone that has even been sort of following the Bruins knows that they don't have a shot at winning the cup. 

The Yankees Just Posted the Funniest Video of A Rod on Instagram

How many days until #OpeningDay? A-Rod has the answer. #ButWhosCounting

A video posted by yankees (@yankees) on Mar 24, 2015 at 7:00am PDT

If you didn't laugh out loud at this for at least 10 minutes then you're just trying to find ways to continue to hate A-Rod. Guy is such a goof, you gotta love him.

Taylor Swift Bought All the Porn Domains with Her Name in Them

Fox News: Taylor Swift went shopping, and she bought all the porn domains with her name. Her recent purchases aren’t as out of the blue as one might think, however. And no, she’s not considering any sort of professional career change.

The singer is now the proud owner of porn domain sites like TaylorSwift.porn and TaylorSwift.adult and the likes in an attempt to beat the Internet trolls (aka pornographers who want to capitalize on her name, brand and image) to the punch.

You see, Swift is hoarding the registered names before .porn, .sucks and et cetera become available for purchase by the public on June 1.

GossipCop notes: “The move is not to prevent potential Swift nudes from being posted as no such pictures exist, but to stop her highly-trafficked name from being used by those who want to make money off online porn in general.”

What she’s planning on doing with her new domain names, if anything, is unknown. 

The news comes just two months after a hacker threatened to leak alleged nude photos of the 25-year-old. 

Not much to say here. You're allowed to buy domain names, so why not buy up all the porn sites with your name in the domains? Not really sure what you do with them after you buy them, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. How does she turn taylorswift.porn into something positive though? Like you buy that domain and you have to keep it like that or else someone else will just create it again, right? I don't really understand how the internet works but that's what it seems like to me. Unless the whole point is for people to just see taylorswift.porn and not click on it because they know Taylor Swift owns the site and nothing pornographic will actually be on there. Not really sure. 

To me, this is basically Taylor Swift taunting us all with how much money she has. Oh, you wanted to create a porn site with my name in the domain? Naaah, I'll just buy it from you. Cause I don't really see how anything else comes of this. Just Tay owning a bunch of sites that won't get used I guess. Probably just needed to spend a little cash before she hits the tour this summer and makes a billion dollars. 

Ariana Grande Does a Pretty Hilarious Celine Dion Impression

I don't even really know what Celine Dion sounds like, but I'm pretty sure it's exactly how Ariana Grande does it. Really funny impression. So many hilarious things going on in this clip. Ari simply saying "I don't speak" at the beginning when they're talking about how she's never been on a talk show was funny to me. And then when she yells "Thank you! I can talk!" to the audience when they cheer for her. Loved that. And then her actual impression of Celine Dion was hysterical. The second time she does it is the best. I've watched this clip about 10 times now and the quick jibberish that she does gets me every time. I don't even know how to put that sound into words but it's something like "fortooneblebebah" and I love it. Also, when Jimmy does his verse of the song, does Ari say "WORK" when he lowers his voice? Like she was so pumped to hear Jimmy's voice go that deep that she just told him to keep doing work pretty much? Pretty sure that's what she said and it was also pretty funny. Fuckin love Ari.

Her segment on Jimmy's mini-show "Ew!" that he does on the show from time to time was also hilarious. 

First off, Jimmy goes a little overboard on these "Ew!" segments but I think Jimmy Fallon is hilarious so I usually love it. Secondly, I think this is the best one yet. Even better than the one with Taylor Swift. Ariana Grande killed it in this role. Pretty much laughed the whole time. I'll try to cover the best parts of the video but that might end up just being the whole video. Here we go.

1. Ari describing how she was "literally dying" cause she only got three likes on Insta and one was from her dad is pretty much every chick ever so I loved it.

2. The "Ew! Sing-Off" was great. Jimmy just doing stupid noises for 10 seconds and then Ari saying "Well, I mean I probably shouldn't go. Like, I can't top that" made me chuckle. Jimmy saying "you'll never get better unless you try" and Ariana responding with "Ew, okay" made me laugh more than it probably should have. And then finally, when Ari just blows me away with 5 seconds of her amazing voice. Unreal.

3. When they start the "Ew! Speed Round" and Ari says "okay" I fucking died. Lost it. Just done. One of the funniest noises I've ever heard. I seriously don't know how she made that sound. And you could tell, neither one of them was expecting that one simple word to be so funny cause Jimmy did a double take and they both started laughing. Also love when she says that Richard Dreyfuss is "cute" but says it all ridiculous and weird. Good stuff from Ari on the Tonight Show on Friday. 

P.S. I don't eat yogurt a lot, but when I do I am 200% yelling "Gurt Alert!" before I have it. That was sneaky one of the funniest parts of the video. Fucking gurt alert cause they're having frozen yogurt. Laugh out loud funny.



P.P.S. We'd really love to not only have three likes on our pics on Insta too, so throw us a follow (@topcheddarct). We've even posted a BFFelfie before.

The Rihanna "American Oxygen" Song Might be the Best Part of March Madness

BREATHE OUT. BREATHE IN...AMERICAN OXYGEN.

I crack up everytime I hear it. I love it. RiRi baby. She's already got me singing along to her new songs and I've only heard 30 seconds of it. Don't get me wrong, one of the dumbest lines you can have in a song. But you can't tell me it's not catchy. So I love it. And it makes it easier to love it cause it's Rihanna. 

Zayn Malik Taking a Hiatus from 1D's Tour Due to Stress

Rolling Stone: One Direction's Zayn Malik is taking a hiatus from the band's world tour. Billboard has confirmed the singer's return to his home in the UK as the remaining four members continue with their performances in Manila and Jakarta. There is no word on when he will return. 

According to a rep, Malik "has been signed off with stress." The news follows a scandal surrounding a photo of the 22-year-old holding hands with a girl other than his fiancée Perrie Edwards of Little Mix. He responded to the rumors on Twitter Wednesday night by declaring his love for Edwards.

Malik's departure is not the first time One Direction has had to perform without him. In November, he did not make an appearance on the Today show due to a stomach issue. While host Matt Lauer asked the band if his absence was related to substance abuse, both the band and Malik have denied these claims.

While a new album hasn't been confirmed by the boy band, Malik has been working on new music with UK artist Naughty Boy. The producer and songwriter who had a hit with Sam Smith with the single "La La La" revealed to The Independent that the pair have written several songs together, including one titled "One Chance to Dance" to be recorded by One Direction.

Last fall, the band released their fourth album Four. The album had been a huge departure for the band, who mainly eschewed pop and dance in favor of folk rock. One Direction are currently on a world tour that will last through October of this year with a break in late April and May.

Luke saw this on Twitter and said "oh shit, Zayn's leaving One Direction" and I legit got scared. And then I saw that he's just taking a break from the tour. AKA he's a bitch. Like bro, if you can't handle people taking pictures of you and your side piece while you're on the road, DON'T HAVE A SIDE PIECE. But of course he has a side piece, he's in a boy band. And that leads to my other point. YOU'RE IN A BOY BAND BRO. Probably gonna have to deal with people taking pictures. So if you can't handle the boy band life (even though he has for the last five years) then get out. But I don't want him out. Just want him to grow a pair and deal with the boy band life. Can't just hang your bros out to dry like that. Who wants to go to a 1D concert when there's only four of them there? Not me. Let me know when you get rid of that vagina Zayn and I'll buy some tickets to your show. 

Villanova Murders Lafayette

Last night the Wild Cats took on Lafayette. I knew Nova would destroy them but my goodness, I did not expect an absolute blow out. Nova took Lafayette behind the woodshed and beat them 93-52. I'm honestly surprised that Lafayette came out and played a second half. In the first half Villanova shot 62.5%, absolutely ABSURD. From the first tip everyone that was watching the game could tell that the Wild Cats were a much better team. They were bigger, stronger, faster and a much more dominate team. I'm pretty sure that absolutely no one expected Lafayette to win, seeing as a 16 seed has never beat a 1 seed but still, the game was over at half time. Next up for Nova is NC State which should be another win for the Wild Cats, I don't expect it to be as much of a blow out as the Lafayette game I'd be extremely surprised if the Wild Cats lost.
#novanation