The Oscars sucked. That's the main takeaway. American Sniper was snubbed of the big awards the entire night. And The Grand Budapest Hotel only won costume design and other weird awards that I don't even know why they announce at the show. Barely saw any of the top nominees as per usual. American Sniper and Grand Budapest Hotel were the only movies I saw that were part of the top group last night. I heard Birdman was very good and I love Michael Keaton but I haven't seen it yet. That being said, I find it very hard to believe it was better than American Sniper or Grand Budapest Hotel. Absolutely loved both of those.
Birdman won Best Picture. Don't really mind it, I'm sure it's a good movie. Like I said though, I woulda gone with either American Sniper or Grand Budapest Hotel.
Some nobody got Best Actor for playing Stephen Hawking. Look, I'm sure that story was cool and inspiring and what not, but there is NO way ANYONE did a better acting job in the past year than Bradley Cooper in American Sniper. Fuck the Academy.
Julianne Moore won Best Actress for her role in Still Alice. I've heard that movie was sad as shit, and that she did a really good job. I'm sure she was very deserving of this award. Kinda love Julianne Moore, talented actress. That being said, gotta give this to Rosamund Pike for successfully transforming herself into a certifiable psychopath in Gone Girl.
JK Simmons (Whiplash) and Patricia Arquette (Boyhood) won Best Supporting Actor and Actress, respectively. Haven't seen either movie. Heard Whiplash was good. Heard Boyhood sucked. JK Simmons gave a nice speech telling everyone to call their loved ones and tell them you love them. And then Patricia Arquette (who is probably doing pretty well off for herself as a mediocre/nobody actress) gets on stage and talks about how women need to start earning equal wages as men. Hey lady, you won a fucking Oscar for your role in a movie about a boy growing up. Save your feminist speeches for other times. That's not the place to just start ranting to everyone. Obviously it was met with a standing ovation. But oh well. This lady should be grateful she lives in a fucking country where she can even have a job. Don't get me wrong, it'd be nice to have no gender pay gap, but you can't just snap your fingers and have the problem fixed, and making speeches about it at the Oscars is just so god damn annoying. I'm about to drop some facts on you, so don't get too blown away. I'm not trying to turn this blog into a political forum but when some nobody bitch talks about shit like this at the Oscars, shit gets real. While on average women make 78% of what men do working full time, older women (55-64) make 72% of what men make, and younger women (25 and under) are making about 94% of what men make. Things are changing. It's okay. Seeeeettle down Ms. Arquette. It's not perfect but you can calm down and stop making stupid speeches at the Oscars. After all, we can't all be like the perfect Hungary.
But hey, the great part about this is that if you think the U.S. is a worse place for you to live than Hungary is, you can just go live in fuckin Hungary! I doubt there's a place like Hollywood in Hungary though. I doubt you'll get paid millions of dollars to make shitty movies and win prestigious awards for your non-leading role in said shitty movie. I doubt Hungarian movie makers will want mediocre American actresses to star in their movies. But hey at least you can make as much as your male counterpart does at the local coffee shop in your hipster European town!
Okay, end of rant that I didn't want to go on in the first place. Here are some other takeaways from the Oscars last night.
Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston are still certified 10s at the ripe age of 45.
Scarjo was arguably the hottest woman there last night. She pulls off the short hair better than anyone ever.
Nobody knew who Miles Teller's girlfriend was, but everyone does now.
David Oyelowo and Jared Leto stole the show for the dudes. Absolute fire flames suits.
John Travolta continues to be the biggest creep on the planet.
There were two separate mentions of suicide in thank you speeches, and that's two too many for my Oscars.
The "Everything is Awesome" song from The Lego Movie is awesome.
Love Tegan and Sara. Or just this song maybe.
And the opening song by Neil Patrick Harris was great. Loved Anna Kendrick's part.
"And such happy endings, except for in Gone Girl when that lady slit your throaaaaat!" Absolutely hilarious line. Laughed out loud at that.
Okay, I think that's enough. Long ass blog. I'll leave you with this though.
Just cause she didn't do anything noteworthy doesn't mean she still can't be one of the hottest chicks in the universe. Love Margot.
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