Maxim Hot 100 Breakdown

Alright so last week it was revealed that Taylor Swift would be the #1 on Maxim's annual Hot 100 list but the full breakdown of the rest wasn't on the website til this week. I didn't blog about T Swift claiming the top spot cause I wanted to wait til the rest of the list was out. Maxim did it kind of differently this year, breaking down different categories of women and then doing a readers' choice full 100. So, as I did last year I'm gonna break down this list for everyone, and give my top 5-10 hottest chicks in the world (with a little bias). Maxim's sections are The #1, The Ones to Watch, The Singers, The Actresses, The Models, and Readers' Choice. I'm gonna throw in an athletes section too. 

THE #1

As much as I love Taylor, and as awesome and as beautiful as she is, I don't think she's the hottest chick in the world. Not gonna say who my #1 is yet, but it's not gonna be Tay.

THE ONES TO WATCH

I don't know what this section is, and none of em were exceptional. This chick Halston Sage was one of the only ones I recognized. I'm not gonna do my top 5 here because I don't know what the fuck it means.

THE SINGERS

They actually had an absurd list of singers there. I'd say a good third of the chicks they listed I didn't even know. Anyway, here's my top 5 hottest singers.

5. Jana Kramer

Remember when she burnt Dallas to the ground? Yeah that'll get you on this list.

4. Selena Gomez

3. Rihanna

I couldn't decide which one I wanted to use, so I went with both. Google imaging "Rihanna esquire" is one of the best things I've done in recent memory.

2. Taylor Swift

1. Katy Perry

Alright, KP takes the cake for the singers. A few honorable mentions are Kacey Musgraves, Ariana Grande, Carrie Underwood, Becky G, J-Lo. Lemme know if I'm missing anyone obvious.

THE ACTRESSES

This is probably gonna be a little harder, just cause there are so many actresses out there, and a so many of them are hot. Here are my top 5.

5. Blake Lively

4. Minka Kelly

3. Jessica Alba

2. Amber Heard

1. Margot Robbie

That was pretty much impossible. Others I considered were Mila Kunis, Anna Kendrick, Rachel McAdams (who I want to marry), Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johannson (the hair-do pictured above dropped her out, still unreal hot though), J-Law, and pretty much everyone else that's hot in Hollywood. 

THE MODELS

Maxim's got a pretty good list of models but I think they're missing a few. Here's my top 5.

5. Candice Swanepoel

4. Alessandra Ambrosio

3. Adriana Lima

2. Miranda Kerr

1. Hannah Davis

If you're dating Derek Jeter, you're gonna be pretty high on any list I make, and in this case she's number 1 out of the models. Doesn't hurt that she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit either. Some others I considered were Karlie Kloss (pictured earlier), Emily Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner, Irina Shayk, and every other model pretty much.

THE ATHLETES

This section wasn't part of the Maxim list but I thought it should be so I'm gonna do my top 5.

5. Maria Kirilenko

4. Lauren Thompson

3. Maria Sharapova

If you've been following this blog for a while you'd know Maria is my girl. Looking to catch some of her during the French Open going on right now. Need it.

2. Alex Morgan

1. Anastasia Ashley

She's the only surfer I know for a reason. Holy shit. 

READERS' CHOICE

The readers' top 10 was (from 10 to 1): Katy Perry, Jessica Alba, Sara Sampaio, Candice Swanepoel, Miley Cyrus, Adriana Lima, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Emily Ratajkowski, and Taylor Swift. Not a bad list. I can get on board with all of them except for Miley because she's just too gross with her weirdness and it bothers me, gone from sexy to gross real fast, and that Sara Sampaio chick just cause I have no clue who she is and doesn't belong in the top 10. 

So, without further ado, here is my top 10.

10. Rihanna

Rihanna drops 8 spots from last year cause she's done some weird shit lately, but stays in the top 10 due to pictures like this.

9. Taylor Swift

My girl Tay moves up 1 spot from last year because she's quite simply looked the hottest she's ever looked this year. With things like the Bad Blood music video and how she looked at the Billboard Music Awards, she's showing off her hotness a little more and it's moving her up.

8. Adriana Lima

Not entirely sure why or how I left her out last year, but oh well. She's in this year. No doubt one of the hottest chicks alive.

7. Minka Kelly

Still pretty pissed Jeter let this girl go. But he's doing fine with Hannah Davis, who is by my count hotter. Just something about Derek and Minka was awesome and wanted Jetes to lock it up.

6. Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr moves up 3 spots from last year. Not sure how that worked out, but I think it's the right move. She's just unreal hot.

5. Hannah Davis

Yeah, Derek's doing just fine.

4. Jessica Alba

I'm very confused as to why I left Jessica Alba off the list last year. Maybe I thought her time had passed? Who the fuck knows. But she's still one of the hottest chicks in the world.

3. Amber Heard

I forgot about Amber Heard last year and I'm pretty embarrassed about it. I'm not sure how many people even know who she is, and I'm not sure how many people would agree with her being in the top 10, let alone top 3. But, there is just something about this chick that does it for me. She just seems absolutely perfect. About as close as you can get to a perfect human being.

2. Margot Robbie

Another girl I have no idea why I left her off last year. Especially since last year she was coming off one of the hottest roles in movie history in Wolf of Wall Street. But whatever, I'm making up for it this year by putting her at number 2. She's still just as hot as she was in Wolf of Wall Street and to me, that's the second hottest chick alive.

1. Katy Perry

And Katy Perry defends her title! Did you really think I was gonna take KP out of the top spot? Woulda been stupid of you to think so. Because there is no way around it. Katy Perry is the hottest woman on the planet. 

Fire Jam Friday

It's finally Friday again. Been a long week. No phone, busy week of class, so I'm pumped for the weekend. Time to relax and listen to the best playlist you'll hear all week. Luke's been taking shots at me all week, so I had to step up big. I'm lucky I watch so many movies cause I watched The Wedding Singer this week and holy shiiiiit that soundtrack is fire flames. Probably coulda done this whole FJF with just songs from that soundtrack. But I didn't cause there's a lot of good new stuff to throw in as well. Some new electronic stuff from Alesso and Avicii, some new Jake Owen (Luke put it on his playlist but it's too good and I like Jake Owen too much not to put it on here as well). All in all just an incredible playlist this week, so enjoy.

#FireJamFriday

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a great scene from The Wedding Singer since I mentioned it.

Wednesday Bangerz

Here we are again, back for another Wednesday/ Thursday Bangers. I don't know the last time that I did one and I don't really care because this is the best playlist you'll hear this week. Every track is god damn fire. We've got some new Aer and Jake Owen, both are bangerooskis. I'm pretty sure Mark is going to "break" his computer like he did his phone cause he knows he can't keep up with this absolute ripper of a playlist, do they make bike race for laptops? Anyways if you like BBQs, America, dogs, cold beer, summer time, doing cannon balls, wiffle ball, catching fish and having the best day of your life, I'll assume that you will enjoy this playlist. Go ahead and buy a 30 rack for yourself, turn this on and finish that bad boy. 

In Case You Don't Follow Me on Twitter, Your Boy Is a Complete Idiot

I hesitated writing this blog but I'm bored and thought some of our few readers might enjoy it. So, in case you don't follow me on Twitter, I broke my phone last night after I lost a race to my brother in Bike Race, the stupid game that's been around for like four fucking years. I lost a race, and immediately whipped my phone, aiming for the futon but it went flying over it and drilled the bar stool behind it. Sick life I have, right? Anyway, I'm writing this because besides calling and texting, everything I do on my phone I can do on my laptop; it's just not as convenient. So I determined that the real loser of this situation is all 153 of my loyal (using the word "loyal" pretty lightly as there are now 152) Twitter followers and all of my Snapchat friends. I can still tweet on my laptop, but as with any Twitter user, an integral part of my Twitter game is tweeting on the go when I see something funny worth tweeting. Sorry if I can't get quality tweets out as events take place. Could be without a phone for a while so my bad. And also, my Snapchat game had been poor recently but it became absolute fire the last couple days. I know at least a couple people will miss my excellent snaps, and I'm sorry for that. 

It's been a bit of a tough go so far, but I think I can get through it. At least it's not my laptop, I can still do school work and not fail my summer classes so that's solid. Gonna miss the group texts I had going, but oh well. I think the lesson learned here is just don't play fucking bike race. It's an old, stupid game that will drive you insane (at least for in need of anger management people like me). So, even when I get my phone back, I think it's safe to say that I should hang up my wheels and handlebars and call it quits from the bike race game. With upwards of 10,500 career wins I can honestly say I left it all out on the track, and even though I didn't leave the game as gracefully as a hall of famer like myself would have liked, I'm proud of my accomplishments and I have no regrets. Hopefully I'll be back in the live tweet, snapchat, text, and phone call game soon. Probably won't be soon, but one can hope. 

Top 10 Concerts You Should Go to this Summer

It's that time of year again. Memorial Day rolls around and you start thinking about all the concerts you wanna go to over the summer. Everyone loves going to concerts. I don't care if you like the music that much, tailgating and getting shitfaced in the parking lot is always a blast. Last year T-Swift and Kenny Chesney weren't on tour but you'll see them this year, and this year the #1 from last year Katy Perry is taking the summer off so keep that in mind. 

10. Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande is a relatively new obsession of mine, but it's for good reason. The girl has an absolutely unreal voice and I feel like you just gotta hear it live. It's the kinda concert where if I had a girlfriend (pretty big "if") I'd beg her to go to it and then act like she dragged me to it. But there's really no need to be embarrassed. The girl is a straight superstar. 

9. Jason Aldean

I've seen Jason Aldean live two summers in a row. I don't know if I'll make it a third straight seeing as though I have zero dollars but ya never know. It really is a great show, and tailgating at country concerts is always an awesome time. He and Kenny's tours are gonna combine for a few stadium shows over the summer and I simply can not imagine how sick it would be to go to one of those. 

8. Luke Bryan

Even though Luke Bryan's new single is trash, he's still an absolute blast to go see live. Hopefully he has better songs on his new album that he can start to include on tour this summer, or just stick to his classics cause they're all straight fire. 

7. Florida Georgia Line

I saw FGL last summer when they were on tour with Jason Aldean and they were really good. They have their own tour for part of the summer, and then they're doing some shows with Luke Bryan too. If you can't kill two birds with one stone and catch both em I'd still recommend you see FGL because they put on a frickin show.

6. Tim McGraw with Billy Currington

Tim McGraw's still got it and I'd love to see him live. A few of my friends went last year and they said it was sick. I'm not sure if that's because of the show or how drunk they were or a combo of both but regardless I'd like to go. Billy Currington is one of my favorite country artists so that would be a nice bonus to see him too. 

5. Zac Brown Band

I didn't like ZBB too much until I saw them live last summer and they were amazing. And now they just came out with an incredible new album and I might end up like Luke going to see them three times this summer. Just a great band to go see live. 

4. Dave Matthews Band

Finally saw DMB last summer for the first time and I can honestly say it's the best concert I've ever been too. They're such an awesome jam band, and just absolutely incredible live. Dave and co. straight up put on a show. 

3. One Direction

1D slips a spot this year, but only because of who else is actually on tour this summer. Obviously with Zayn gone it could be a little different if you've seen them before but probably not too much. These four still know how to put on one hell of a show and it should still be a blast. Like I said last year, just go with a bunch of chicks your age, stay away from the teenagers, and don't be creepy. Just get drunk and enjoy the fuck out of some of the best music the world has to offer. At this point, it would be funny to go just to see the reactions of parents with 14 year old daughters there when you're crushing beers in the parking lot before the show. Again, just don't be creepy. 

2. Taylor Swift

I'm sure a lot of you thought my girl Tay would be #1 and for a while I thought I'd do it too. But I reconsidered and you'll understand when I get to #1. But back to T-Swift, I don't get anyone who wouldn't want to go see her live. Plenty of chicks in the crowd, great atmosphere, UNREAL music. It all adds up to an awesome time.

1. Kenny Chesney

with guests that include Jake Owen, Eric Church, and Brantley Gilbert

If there was one guy that I'd wanna see live, it'd be Kenny Chesney. His shows just look like an insane amount of fun. I've seen Jake Owen before and he's incredible. Plus he's got a new song coming out Tuesday and hopefully an album soon as well. Eric Church seems like his shows would be awesome. And I've seen Brantley Gilbert before and he put on a terrific show. I don't think all these guys will ever be at the same show, but they all will be touring with Kenny at some point over the summer. And of course, as I mentioned earlier there are a few shows with Jason Aldean at stadiums too. I would do almost anything to see Kenny and Aldean and others at Lambeau Field up in Green Bay. That would be unreal.

Alright, well that does it for this year's summer concert guide. A few others that I considered that I guess you could call honorable mentions are Dierks Bentley, Toby Keith, Nicki Minaj, and Imagine Dragons. Sorry if it was too similar to last year's list but my taste in music hasn't changed much.