Friday, November 25, 2016

Fire Jam Friday

Okay so I owe you two college football roundups and two Fire Jam Fridays (made the playlist last week just didn't blog it cuz I was at a wedding). So you'll get the Fire Jam Fridays today and I can't imagine I'll muster up a CFB roundup today so I'll just tell you that the top four are Alabama, Ohio State, Michigan, and Clemson. Clemson lost to Pitt while I was there and it was stupid and I hated it but we're still gonna make the playoffs. Now let's get to the hot fire.

Last week:

This week:

Top 10:

Thursday, November 10, 2016

College Football Roundup: Week 10

Dece week of college football last week. Just a reminder, we are now going off of the playoff committee's top 25 rather than the AP. Now let's roll.

1. Alabama Crimson Tide (@ #13 LSU, W 10-0): What a pathetic football game. This team isn't anything special.

2. Clemson Tigers (vs. Syracuse, W 54-0): Love blowing out a team finally. Deshaun tweaked his shoulder a bit, but he got us a huge lead, was tossing absolute dimes in the first half and will be good to go for this weekend. The defense made some great plays too. Loved all of it. Except for having to watch Nick Scheussler play (despite being actually kinda impressive). 

3. Michigan Wolverines (vs. Maryland, W 59-3): Another good team beating up on a bad team.

4. Texas A&M Aggies (@ Mississippi State, L 35-28): Screw A&M. Get lost.

5. Washington Huskies (@ California, W 66-27): Thought Cal might be able to keep up with Washington, but nope. I think Washington may actually be decent.

6. Ohio State Buckeyes (vs. #10 Nebraska, W 62-3): I know Nebraska wasn't that good, but holy shit. The bucks turned it up a bit this week. 

7. Louisville Cardinals (@ Boston College, W 52-7): Cool Louisville, we did that too. Just no one got a boner from watching it. Because it was expected.

8. Wisconsin Badgers (@ Northwestern, W 21-7): Gotta love Wisconsin. Stingiest defense of all time I think. They have to lead the nation in all time wins when scoring fewer than 25 points.

9. Auburn Tigers (vs. Vanderbilt, W 23-16): Goodness Auburn, can't have you lose to Vandy almost. Clean it up.

10. Nebraska Cornhuskers (@ #6 Ohio State, L 62-3): I think what happened here was that Nebraska just isn't good. Also their QB died. Didn't help.

11. Florida Gators (@ Arkansas, L 31-10): Overrated Florida loses to another overrated SEC team. Now everyone thinks the latter of the two is even better. Leading to two shitty SEC teams overrated in the top 25. Great.

12. Penn State (vs. Iowa, W 41-14): Penn State on an absolute roll. Flying high after that W against Ohio State.

13. LSU Tigers (vs. #1 Alabama, L 10-0): I know it's Alabama's defense and the sun rises and sets on their cocks, but I don't think I've ever seen a worse performance by a division 1 quarterback. It boggles my mind how LSU hasn't been able to recruit a decent quarterback since like Matt Flynn. Unreal.

14. Oklahoma Sooners (@ Iowa State, W 34-24): Cool OU.

15. Colorado Buffaloes (vs. UCLA, W 20-10): Little Thursday night win for the top 15 Buffs. Nice.

16. Utah Utes: BYE

17. Baylor Bears (vs. TCU, L 62-22): Hahahahahhahahahaha now it's your turn to get raped, Baylor. How do you like it? God what a pathetic program.

18. Oklahoma State Cowboys (@ Kansas State, W 43-37): What a comeback from the boys. K State is no easy opponent and Oklahoma State rattled off 14 points in just a few minutes to defeat the Cats. Exciting game to watch. 

19. Virginia Tech Hokies (@ Duke, W 24-21): Nice win I guess. Hokies still on track for the ACC title game.

20. West Virginia Mountaineers (vs. Kansas, W 48-21): Sick.

21. North Carolina Tar Heels (vs. Georgia Tech, W 48-20): The heels have taken care of business since that loss to Virginia Tech, but they need the Hokies to lose.

22. Florida State Seminoles (@ NC State, W 24-20): NC State has had a tough year blowing games that have been right in their fingertips.

23. Western Michigan Broncos (@ Ball State, W 52-20): Go Broncos.

24. Boise State Broncos (vs. San Jose State, W 45-31): Go Broncos.

25. Washington State Cougars (vs. Arizona, W 69-7): Such a bro amount of points for the Cougs.

Monday, November 7, 2016

These Amazon Reviews Left by the South Carolina Serial Killer are Disturbing to Say the Least

USA TodayGREENVILLE, S.C. — The same month that Todd Kohlhepp acquired 95 secluded acres near Woodruff, S.C., in May 2014, an Amazon user named "me" with a wish list linked to "Todd Kohlhepp" began to leave chilling reviews for products the user said he had purchased.

The reviews have caught the attention of Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office investigators, who are looking into Kohlhepp’s online interactions as part of their investigation into the man Spartanburg County Sheriff Chuck Wright has said is likely a serial killer linked to as many as seven deaths. 

In one review about a padlock, the Amazon user wrote, “solid locks.. have 5 on a shipping container.. wont stop them.. but sure will slow them down til they are too old to care. (sic)”

On a review of a knife posted on Sept. 13, 2014, he said, “havnet (sic) stabbed anyone yet...... yet.... but I am keeping the dream alive and when I do, it will be with a quality tool like this...”

For a shovel with a folding handle, the user posted a review suggesting, “keep in car for when you have to hide the bodies and you left the full size shovel at home.... does not come with a midget, which would have been nice.”

First of all, welcome back to a blog not titled "Fire Jam Friday" or "College Football Roundup" it's been awhile. This guy is a grade A sicko who murdered at least 7 people. Dude needs to be locked up ASAP. But I wanna go over some of these product reviews this guy left on Amazon. First one he's talking about locking people up in shipping containers and how 5 of the locks are adequate to keep a human locked up in them. Oh no shit dude, you got five locks on the fucking door. Hey Amazon customer service, where were ya when the guy dropped this review? Next review the guy is reviewing a knife and saying how it will be a quality tool to stab someone with. Are you kidding me with this shit? Hey Amazon customer service, you should probably search common murderous terms such as "stab" or "shoot" or "kill." Might find some fucked up shit, maybe alert someone that there's a dude talking about stabbing people with one of your knives. Not a good look for your product. And the last review is just wild. Like just so specific I can't even wrap my head around it. I hate to say it too but I laughed out loud at the whole thing. Like yes it's messed up and he's using shovels to bury people and shit. But that's already been established. Take a step back and read that absurd comment. Good to "keep in car for when you have to hide the bodies and you left the full size shovel at home." What a convenience that must have been for this dude. Guy didn't even have to worry about remembering the big shovel cause he had the folding handle shovel in the car at all times. Thanks Amazon! Although, what kinda shitty murderer forgets a shovel when they're burying bodies? Next he goes "does not come with a midget, which would have been nice." I'm sorry but how the fuck do you not lose it at that comment? This freaking guy is out here murdering people left and right and getting away with it and he's pissed cause he can't get a free midget with his fucking folding handle shovel. Hysterical stuff. But so messed up. I hate this guy but I love his desire for a good midget and a shovel combo. Can never get too much of that. Good stuff.

Hope this guy rots in prison.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Fire Jam Friday

New Chez. Let's fucking ride, it's Friday!

College Football Roundup: Week 9

Pretty crazy weekend of college football last week. And it set up nicely for the first playoff rankings of the season on Tuesday night. For this round up, the rankings will still reflect the week 9 AP poll. Let's get started.

1. Alabama Crimson Tide: BYE

2. Michigan Wolverines (@ Michigan State, W 32-23): Not that impressive of a win for Michigan, but they managed to finally beat the Spartans.

3. Clemson Tigers (@ #12 Florida State, W 37-34): One of the best games of the season so far. Sure there were a ton of penalties, but it didn't make the game not enjoyable to watch. Deshaun threw two picks but other than that looked pretty unstoppable. Dalvin Cook is the best running back in the country and it's not even close. I mean I hate Florida State but that guy is just straight up impressive. If I were an FSU fan I'd be pissed they didn't use him more. I thought Clemson shoulda used Gallman more as well. The star of the game though was Jordan Leggett. Just single handily murdering FSU on the last drive. I also thought the FSU QB was just gonna die on the field at one point too. Dude got messed up all night and I loved it. Bottom line is that it was another hard fought win for the Tigers and they now have three wins against currently ranked opponents, with two coming on the road. I'll take it, even if we still haven't played a clean game all year.

4. Washington Huskies (@ #17 Utah, W 31-24): Jake Browning sucks. But Washington's special teams and running back won the game for them. People acting like Browning is a Heisman candidate are just stupid though. 

5. Louisville Cardinals (@ Virginia, W 32-25): Louisville sucks. That's all I got. Nothing special.

6. Ohio State Buckeyes (vs. Northwestern, W 24-20): Ohio State also sucks.

7. Nebraska Cornhuskers (@ #11 Wisconsin, L 23-17 OT): Well they almost had em. Madison is a tough place to win at though. First loss for Nebraska, they still have some hope.

8. Baylor Bears (@ Texas, L 35-34): I love how Baylor starts every season 6-0 or 7-0 and bitches about how no one gives them respect, even though their toughest out of conference opponent in the last like 10 seasons is Rice, and then they play a team who has competency and they lose. That's what you get for trying to cover up your players raping girls and dogs, Baylor. Suck it, douchebags. 

9. Texas A&M Aggies (vs. New Mexico State, W 52-10): Way to bounce back from the loss to Bama, guys.

10. West Virginia Mountaineers (@ Oklahoma State, L 37-20): The Big 12 is a mess and I love it. Baylor and WVU were the only hopes for the Big 12 to get a team in the playoff. Now that hope is gone. 

11. Wisconsin Badgers (vs. #7 Nebraska, W 23-17 OT): Wisconsin has some of the best wins in the country, it's unfortunate they have two losses against fellow top 10 teams because otherwise they'd very much be a playoff contender.

12. Florida State Seminoles (vs. #3 Clemson, L 37-34): FSU has Dalvin Cook. And that's it. But he almost got them a win. Almost.

13. Boise State Broncos (@ Wyoming, L 30-28): Aaaaand there goes the Broncos' season.

14. Florida Gators (@ Georgia, W 24-10): Florida might be okay I guess. 

15. Auburn Tigers (@ Ole Miss, W 40-29): Ole Miss sucks, but Auburn keeps winning and that means Clemson has two top 10 wins now. Boom.

16. Oklahoma Sooners (vs. Kansas, W 56-3): Kansas is a joke of a program.

17. Utah Utes (vs. #4 Washington, L 31-24): Utah is pretty good, but just not good enough in this one. Tough loss.

18. Tennessee Volunteers (@ South Carolina, L 24-1): Wow, the all time low for an SEC squad. Losing to SCar. Tennessee fucking sucks.

19. LSU Tigers: BYE

20. Western Michigan Broncos: BYE

21. North Carolina Tar Heels: BYE

22. Navy Midshipmen (@ South Florida, L 52-45): Sucks Navy.

23. Colorado Buffaloes: BYE

24. Penn State (@ Purdue, W 62-24): So I guess Penn State is good now? Who knows. Purdue sucks.

25. Virginia Tech Hokies (@ Pittsburgh, W 39-36): Hell of a game from the VT QB.