Friday, August 29, 2014

Fire Jam Friday

New thing on Fridays here at Top Cheddar. Luke's got his college football bets, and I'm doing Fire Jam Friday. Could be new stuff, old stuff, country, pop, whatever. I'll try to keep it up beat since it's Friday, but I can't make any promises. If Tay comes out with a sweet new slow break up song, I might have to throw it on here. And I think most of you know by now that T-Swift is my shit, so you're probably surprised Shake It Off isn't on this week's playlist. Well Spotify kinda sucks and it's not available there yet. Anyway, let's break down a few of the songs that are on the playlist. Basically, anything Kenny Chesney is always game and his latest Flora-Bama is sick. Anyone hotter than Ariana Grande these days? I picked a song from her new album and that could be a theme for a little while. Some 1995 Mariah throwback. "Fantasy" might be the most fire jam of all time. And "Bang Bang" is just killin it right now. 

But there it is. I'm sure you don't need a breakdown of all these songs, so just have a listen. #FireJamFriday

College Football Opening Weekend Picks

So if you're a degenerate like I am you're pumped for football season to be starting up again cause that means it's the best time for gambling. Every friday I'll be posting a few games for the weekend that you should bet on. If you like free money, bet these games, if you don't dont. 
(sidenote: I use and it's great)

Opening Weekend 8/30
I'm taking Alabama covering the spread all day here. C'mon it's fuckin Alabama and WVU. WVU sucks and while people are unsure about Bama, as long as Nick Saban is the coach I'll have faith. #ROLLTIDE

I'm 100% betting the money line for Clemson vs. UGA tomorrow. That's easy. Clemson's new QB is a stud and going to tear up UGA. Clemson's defense is also unreal. 

As much as this kills me to say, I'm taking Louisville -3.5. I would LOVE Miami to come out and win this but I think they will be a little shaky with their new freshman QB. 

I'm taking Wisconsin on the money line tomorrow. I feel a BIG upset coming. Fuck LSU.

Does This Look Like the Face of a Guy Caught with 138lbs of the Weed?

source- SOUTH WINDSOR, CT Police were able to set up surveillance and watch the suspect, identified as 54-year-old Stuart Klotzer of Stafford, as he entered a wooded area off Niederwerfer Road and then returned to his vehicle. Police followed the vehicle into Ellington where the resident state trooper assisted with stopping it. Officers located eight pounds of marijuana inside the glove compartment of Klotzer's vehicle. In addition, they seized nearly 70 pounds of marijuana plants gowning in the wooded area off Niederwerfer and another 60 pounds at Klotzer's house in Stafford. In total, police removed more than $348,000 worth of marijuana along with packaging and gowning equipment
DEAR LORD that is a LOT of pot and money. 138 pounds. That's like how much I weighed in 8th grade. Imagine filling an eighth grade up with pot, that's what we've got here. Imagine losing 348K worth of product, talk about a bad friday. This guy must be an idiot though. I feel like when you're dealing with that much product of something illegal you've got to be smart enough to get caught. Plus this guy just looks like and IDIOT. Sweet face, bro. Good job good effort. I still can't get over 138lbs. How do you transport 138lbs of weed? Also how did he get 8lbs of it into his glove box?! I can barely get my registration, title and owners manual to fit in there none the less 8lbs of marijuana. 

Bro Throws Watermelon at His Cheating Girlfriend

WYFF 4FORT MILL, S.C. —A Fort Mill man has been charged with criminal domestic violence after his girlfriend said he hit her with a watermelon. 

The Herald of Rock Hill reports that a 41-year-old woman told deputies that her boyfriend, 48-year-old Jimmy Poage, had been drinking on Wednesday night and thought she was cheating on him.

The woman said Poage threw a watermelon at her and hit her recently repaired hip.

Police arrived and found Poage walking away from the home. Officers said Poage told them his girlfriend had lied and that she actually had slapped him and smeared watermelon on her own clothes.

There may be a lot more important things going on in the world, but this is hilarious. Ever since I've tried to write about more southern stories for a different aspect of Top Cheddar, I've found nothing but great stories. My last few blogs have been about news from South Carolina and why stop when these crazy hicks keep doing shit like this.

First of all, I just wanna say that there's no way this chick wasn't cheating on the guy. He brought it up while he was hammered which means he's been meaning to talk about it cause he knows about it, but he just didn't know how. Needed a few brews to get him going. You know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts. Got pissed off, he's drunk so he picked up the closest thing he could shotput at her surgically repaired hip. This guy's clever, he's not crazy. He's not gonna drop a watermelon on her dome, it might kill her. Hit her where it hurts though. Watermelon to the vulnerable hip. That's like a kick in the balls. Now I'm not condoning domestic violence, but I think a fruit to the hip isn't a major crime and it can be laughed about. She'll probably limp for a few days. Hope she has some Tide to get that watermelon off her blouse though. Brutal stains. Also, I absolutely love this guy telling the police that the chick lied and that she was the one who slapped him and then just decided to smear watermelon on herself. That makes the story. The dude's side of the argument is that his girlfriend just decided to rub fucking watermelon all over herself.

Bill Murray Crushing Life

So Bill Murray was checking tickets at some random minor league baseball game last night. The guy is such a boss. He's a part owner of the team and on their website he's listed as the team psychologist. "On Opening Night, he was stationed outside the ballpark selling programs and later tossed out a first pitch. The next night, he coached first base. He was in the coaches' box again on August 10, 1997 when he played a major role in the biggest rally in team history. That night, the Saints trailed Sioux Falls, 9-2, after three innings. With the pennant race in full swing, manager Marty Scott turned the third base coach's box over to Murray, who had been coaching at first base that game." So basically like everything else that Bill Murray does he just gets to joke around the whole time. Sickest life ever, seriously. Nobody wants him to be serious. Bill Murray is up there as an all time favorite for me. 

Bill Murray then decided not to throw the first pitch, but catch it and then throw the ball over the stadium. Keep on crushing life, Bill.

(stick tap to Issac)

Is Miley Cyrus the Biggest Narc of All Time?

sourceJesse Helt, 22, turned himself in at the Polk County Jail in the Willamette Valley community of Dallas, Oregon, was booked on a probation violation warrant and then posted $2,500 bail, said Martin Silbernagel, director of Polk County Community Corrections.

Mark has documented this whole weird thing about Miley's homeless but not really homeless buddy from the VMA's. I figured I'd throw my two cents in, this whole thing is prettyyyy weird. My ultimate take away is that Miley is a huge snitch. Hey Miley, probs not a good idea to bring someone onto a national stage that has a warrant out for his arrest. Snitches get stitches, Miley.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

NFL Finally Wakes Up, Instates Rules On Domestic Violence

So this is something that should have happened a long time ago. There should never have been any debate that Ray Rice needs to be suspended for more than two games for knocking out his girlfriend. I think the reason this happened today is because the NFL woke up and realized that it was absolutely ABSURD that Josh Gordon was getting suspended for a season for smoking the weed. Keep in mind Josh Gordon was an absolute IDIOT. If you're under appeal for a DUI  don't be smoking weed bro. I'm pretttttty sure  you can give it up for a month. The rules are the rules, it's pretty black and white. The fact of the matter though is that it's still INSANE that you get suspended for more games for doing the pot than HITTING A WOMAN. 

Another pretty shocking part of this whole story is how Roger Goodell admitted he was wrong. ya you read that right. 

source-  In the open of his letter, Goodell admitted he fell short in prior situations of domestic violence.
"At times, however, and despite our best efforts, we fall short of our goals," Goodell wrote. "We clearly did so in response to a recent incident of domestic violence. We allowed our standards to fall below where they should be and lost an important opportunity to emphasize our strong stance on a critical issue and the effective programs we have in place. My disciplinary decision led the public to question our sincerity, our commitment, and whether we understood the toll that domestic violence inflicts on so many families. I take responsibility both for the decision and for ensuring that our actions in the future properly reflect our values. I didn't get it right. Simply put, we have to do better. And we will."
Oh you made a mistake, Rog? Ya wouldn't say. Also can I add that this is CLASSIC Ravens getting a total freebie. Ray Lewis kills someone? Everyone turns their head. Ray Rice beats his wife unconscious? We'll put in a new rule after we hand out his suspension. Take a lap, NFL. You're making a mockery out of yourself. 

Did I mention that Brian Tyms of the Patriots got a more severe punishment for taking adderall that he's had a prescription for since he was 9? So in the eyes of Roger Goodell taking a prescription drug is worse than physically harming another human, not to mention a woman. Huh ya good job Rog. You're killin it. 
So there ya go Ray Rice, a nice little freebie for ya! But from here on out, no more hitting girls!

UPDATE: Josh Shaw Is Actually a Fraud

Well that sucks that Josh Shaw is a complete fraud. C'mon bro, you don't make that stuff up. I even told my grandparents about you.

sourceUSC senior cornerback Josh Shaw came to USC athletic department officials this afternoon (Wednesday, Aug. 27) and admitted that he had lied about how he suffered his ankle injuries over the weekend. He said that the story he told of rescuing his nephew in a pool in Palmdale, Calif., was a complete fabrication.  He apologized for misleading his coaches, teammates, athletic department officials and the public.

So nobody really knows what really happened with Josh Shaw now. There's a lot of speculation but no one has any clue. My biggest problem is that if you're going to lie about it, stick to your story bro. Deny deny deny. He has been suspended from the team indefinitely so I guess we'll see what happens now, I think it all depends on once everyone finds out what really happened.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Does This Look Like A Bus Driver That Drove A Bus Full of Kids Home Drunk?

source-FARMINGTON, CT (WFSB) - A bus driver in Farmington was arrested for being three times the legal limit while driving students to school. Police said Tammy Costello, 44, faces 20 counts of risk of injury to a minor. Costello was brought to the Farmington Police Department where her breath tests were .139 and .134. The legal limit for commercial drivers in Connecticut is .04. 

Keep it classy, Tammy! I think when you're getting hammered at what like 3 in the afternoon, you have a drinking problem. I respect the shit out of you for getting that hammered in the middle of the day but if you're gonna get that drunk, the last thing you should do is go drive a bus full of kids. That's just fucked up. She had a .139???? that's A LOT. I'm interested to see what time she started drinking cause she's no lightweight and that must have been a lot of alcohol. 

Seven Adults Charged with Child Neglect of 15 Kids Living in Disgusting Trailer Home

From top-left to bottom-right: Aaron Dodson, Karen Dunbar, Andy Dunbar, David Hayes, Brianna Henderson and Cherie Toney. Not pictured: Cindy Cox. (Source: Spartanburg Co. Detention Center)

Seven adults are accused of child neglect after deputies said they found 15 kids living in a double-wide trailer that smelled of urine, was covered in roaches, animal feces and more.
Spartanburg County deputies were alerted to possible abuse and child neglect by Spartanburg School District 6 and responded to the home where 24 people live in Woodruff.
Deputies said when they arrived, they saw 10 dogs and four cats running around, six kids swimming in an above-ground pool filled with green algae water from lack of chemical treatment.
Inside the home, deputies said they found animal feces on the floor, a roach infestation in the kitchen cabinets and throughout, piles of clothes and clutter, medicine bottles laying around along with unsecured guns. Full Story

Another day, another fucked up story from the state of South Carolina. Listen, I'm all for living in double wide trailers if it's ya know just Jake Owen going anywhere with his chick or it's some sweet pimped out trailer home. But when you got 24 people including 15 kids living in a fuckin trailer home, you gotta figure your shit out. And who knows if these are even these people's kids. On one hand, you could say that they're just a bunch of fucked up people kidnapping kids and forcing them to swim in algae pools and sleep in dog shit. But on the other hand, you could say that all these people are related and they all literally just don't give a fuck about their kids. Like I said yesterday stories like these just can't be any more stereotypical of the area. In Bumfuck, South Carolina and you got 24 people, 10 dogs, 4 cats running around in a shit filled, piss-smelling, roach invested trailer home. Be careful where you step, you might fire off a few shots of those unsecured guns laying around. 
The pool deputies say the kids were seen swimming in. (Aug. 27, 2014/FOX Carolina)

P.S. How bout "mini maggies mom" with the genius comment at the bottom of this article?
"It is unbelievable that all of these adults would allow this to continue. Thank God somebody called it in to the authorities."
Hey Mini Maggies Mom, take a look at the mugshots of these people. You think those are the faces of people who give a fuck about their kids? No, they just pop some more pills, do some more lines of cocaine, and then shove the kids in the green pool while they shit and fuck in the trailer. 

The double wide trailer is just one of a few places Jake Owen would go with his girl, but I just wanted to throw in a Jake Owen reference cause it's the first thing I thought of when I read "double wide trailer" in the story. Also, this song can lighten up your mood after reading about these fucking crackheads from the sticks.

mini maggies mom
3 seconds ago

Las Vegas, Seattle, Quebec City and More In NHL Expansion Talks

So last night rumors came out that the NHL was putting a team in Las Vegas and I HATE that move. I think that Las Vegas is the last place you put an NHL team. Look how well having a hockey team in the desert is working out for the Coyotes... Las Vegas is generally a bad place for any professional sports team but hockey? wake up. The people that go to Vegas aren't going to be choosing hockey over all the other tourist attractions. Everything in that city is a tourist attraction and I don't think a hockey team would flourish in that type of setting. On the other hand now, I love the idea of putting teams in Quebec City and Seattle. I think Seattle would be a great city to have an NHL team. Quebec City would also be awesome since it's another Canadian city. They could get an awesome rivalry going with Montreal and/or Ottawa. Plus their new barn looks unreaaaaaal.
As for Toronto, I'm gonna say no. Although the Maple Leafs are a HUGE team, I think you just let them have Toronto. Don't try and bring someone new into the mix. They have some diehard fans up there and I personally don't think you should mess with that. 

If I was going to bring 4 new teams into the mix, I would keep QC and Seattle and then also put teams in North Dakota, because they have a HUGE market for college hockey, the people up there are absolutely OBSESSED so I can't imagine what would happen if they put an NHL team in. As for the second city I would go with maybe a city in Minnesota or Salt Lake City in Utah. I think both would be awesome spots to have hockey teams. 

I'm all for an expansion, just to the right cities. I don't want the NHL to put a team in LV and then hear them complain about how much money they're losing. It's just what happened with the Florida Panthers and Arizona Coyotes. You don't need 2 NHL teams in Florida, be better NHL. The move I think might be to relocate the Panthers and Coyotes and then focus on expanding. The Panthers' and Coyotes' average attendance were 14,177 and 13,775. Those are the lowest two ratings. In addition those aren't 14,000 fans that LOVE hockey, I'm sure you have a couple hundred die hard fans, but c'mon. Now look at a shitty team like Calgary, their average was 19,302 and that's cause they're in a city that LOVES hockey. 

 Obviously being a CT native I'd love to see them bring back the Whalers but that's just not realistic. Hartford is a B Market city, a professional sports franchise isn't going to do that well. Right now we have the Hartford Wolf Pack (the Rangers AHL affiliate) and no one goes to their games. I think it's kind of dumb that people don't, you get to see some guys that are going to be huge in a few years. The games are also $5 and you can't sit right on the glass, beer is cheap, food is cheap. Connecticut also has 2 of the best college hockey teams in the country in Yale and Quinnipiac and it's not like their attendance is through the roof. While you can argue that these aren't NHL teams so it's different, that's true, but until CT hockey fans start going to see the teams we have now, the NHL won't even think about putting a new franchise in Hartford. 

 So I guess we'll see what happens with all this expansion talk. I really hope the whole Las Vegas thing doesn't pan out.

P.S- The Whalers had the most fire song of all time. I could listen to it on repeat forever.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Reason 90345 You Shouldn't Have Cats

sourceHAMDEN, CT (WFSB) - An 88-year-old woman from Hamden was seriously injured after she let in an uninvited visitor Sunday night. Police said they received a call around 11 p.m. about a wild animal attack at a home on Brinsmade Road. Police said McKernan attempted to pet what she thought was the cat and that's when the raccoon attacked her.

Classic cats just being the worst. Listen lady, if you just turned your brain on you'd realize you always just get a dog and not a cat, unless you're some weird kind of communist type. You can't trust cats, plain and simple. Your little pet cat goes outside and befriends a raccoon, boom the cat invites the raccoon inside to your humble abode and this god damn raccoon is all up in your grill trying to eat your face off. If this was a dog and some raccoon tried to buddy him up while he was out doin' his business the dog probably would have annihilated it. Cats are just the worst. Can't trust a hoe.

Crazy Lady Attacks Husband Over Beer

WYFF: SPARTANBURG COUNTY, S.C. —A woman is facing an attempted murder charge after her husband prevented her from shooting him by unloading the gun, and then she went after him with an axe, according to the Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies were called to a home on Glenn Springs Road on Sunday evening about a dispute involving a firearm.  When a deputy got to the house, he said he found a man standing in a yard wearing a ripped shirt, and his wife, Patricia Owensby, who was wearing a T-shirt and underpants.
The deputy said there was an axe lying on the ground in the yard near where the couple was standing.
The husband told the deputy that he and his wife were arguing over beer and a remote control for the television in the home. He said his wife had been drinking beer all day and wanted him to go and get more beer, but he wanted to find the remote control for the TV before he left. Read Full Story 

Gotta applaud both sides here. This guy's lucky he found a chick (albeit a fucking creepy and insane one) who just loves pounding brews. All she wanted to do was get hammered on PBR with her man on a Sunday night. And on the other hand, you got this dude eavesdropping on his wife's conversations with her mother. And for good reason. If he hadn't overheard that convo, you'd be reading about a guy with his face fucking shot off by his wife's shotgun. Gotta love the poise from this dude too. Just says he's angry and wants to leave after his wife just tried to unload a couple of rounds to his dome. And then he just grabs the axe from her hands as she tries to beat him with it. This dude could not have handled this situation any better. All he wanted to do was find the fucking remote control before he went out and got more beer for his alcoholic wife. And instead of freaking out on his wife trying to murder him, he just calmly dismisses any possibility of that happening by taking away the rounds to the shotgun and then grabbing an axe out of the crazy lady's hands and then settles her down. What a guy. 

Let's just go back for a second to the fact that a woman wanted to murder her husband because he didn't want to get her more beer until he found the missing TV remote. Just insane. I've been in the South enough to know that this is just classic Southern behavior. Like where else would you hear a story like this besides a state that once was seceded from the nation. No where. Textbook middle of nowhere South Carolina shit right here.

Naughty Neighbor

So it's been a long while since I last posted on top cheddar, and what better way can I exit my hiatus than to chat about this video. 

It's absolute gold. It's a version of disturbia, despite the fact that the neighbor isn't a murderer, he's just having a bad day. This guy knows how to use profanity, and in the best way possible. Minus the fact that he only uses about two phrases the whole time. Anyway, this guy should probably stop being so lazy and mow his lawn more than once a month. You can't cut grass that tall and not have the mower stall. Science, bitch! It all comes down to the neighbor who was smart enough to snag a video of this dudes rant. I salute you my friend. 

USC DB Josh Shaw Saves Life, Risks Season

source- On Saturday night, USC senior cornerback Josh Shaw was named a team captain at the annual Salute to Troy dinner.  For Shaw, leadership is bigger than how he acts on a football field, and he put that to the ultimate test later that night. While attending a family social function at his cousin's apartment in his hometown of Palmdale, Shaw looked on from a second floor balcony to the pool below and saw his 7-year-old nephew, who cannot swim, in distress without help nearby.  Shaw instinctively leaped off the balcony, landing painfully on the concrete below. He was able to crawl into the pool and ushered his nephew to safety.  Despite the intense pain in his legs, he was then able to grab the ladder and lift himself out of the pool with his upper body."I would do it again for whatever kid it was, it did not have to be my nephew," Shaw said today

Absolutely incredible. Can't even imagine how much that hurt jumping off the balcony onto the pavement. It's insane that Shaw risked his whole career to save a kid from drowning, talking about having a lot of character. Hope Shaw has a huge season whenever he comes back and gets good attention from the NFL.

Monday, August 25, 2014

What to Take Away from the VMAs

My big thing to take away from last night's VMAs is that Ariana Grande is fucking awesome. Her voice is amazing. I go from 6 to midnight when I hear her start singing. Her opening with "Break Free" was great and then when Nicki was done with her porno on stage, Ari, Jessie J and Nicki did their hit "Bang Bang" which is absolute fire. Love Ari. Girl's got some pipes.

Now, more on Nicki's "Anaconda" performance. First of all, I'm both surprised and not surprised at all that she picked this song to do for the VMAs. Like how can you even do this song when it's being aired on TV? Every other word is inappropriate and was cut out. I thought she was gonna do "Pills N Potions" but I guess she just wanted an excuse to shake her huge ass on stage (which I don't really mind at all). And then during "Bang Bang" she has a wardrobe malfunction and has to hold her dress the entire time to avoid her tits falling out. And then she shows up for Usher's performance looking good in some furry shit. Have a night Nicki.

Lorde winning Best Rock Video has to be the biggest joke of all time. Linkin Park was in the same category as fucking Lorde. And Lorde wins. Lorde is the biggest piece of pop trash I've ever seen. How is she considered rock music? Certainly the first time I've heard this. Linkin Park definitely should've won. Jesus.

What's a blog about the VMAs without mentioning Taylor Swift? Loved the performance of course, but especially loved the part when she took that long break to run around the giant "1989" on stage instead of jumping off of it and then just unleashed her chords on the arena. Other than that, not much else to say. Just Tay being Tay.

Loved Iggy and Rita Ora's performance. So much ass.

So Miley didn't do some ridiculous performance at the VMAs this year, but she did win Video of the Year. And rather than going up to accept the award she sent up an LA homeless kid (pictured in Miley's selfie above) who talked about how many homeless kids need help and how to help them out. I thought it was pretty cool of Miley to take the focus off of her for a second even though she won the award of the night.

UPDATE: I was kinda thinking this the night of the VMAs but I gave Miley and this guy the benefit of the doubt. Well, apparently this guy's mother came out and said that this Jesse kid moved out to try to make it on his own as a model and spent some time homeless. So this guy is just a struggling model who moved out of his parents' house. What the FUCK. Am I supposed to feel bad for this guy? Like how did Miley even find this tool and why did she think it was necessary to bring him on stage and pull this shit? Get a second job while you try to find some modeling gigs. Actually can't believe this. Shoulda known better not to trust Miley. WOW.

And finally, how bout Beyonce's bullshit hour and a half long performance at the end of the show? Like are you kidding me? I mean I know every chick is OBSESSED with Beyonce but come on, that was ridiculous. Just all of her worst songs thrown into one terrible medley performance. That was worse than the Super Bowl. And longer too. Didn't know the VMAs were part of Beyonce's tour. And it's such bullshit that she's allowed to have words/phrases like "bitch" and "sit my ass on your face" stay uncut on TV while Nicki is getting her song about dicks all edited and shit. Like Beyonce was literally singing about sitting on a dude's face. Some fucked up stuff there. 

T-Swift>Katy Perry>Rihanna>Ariana>Nicki>Iggy>Miley>fucking everyone else>Beyonce
Most overrated musical artist ever. Even more than the Beatles.

Love the GIF of Ari, so cute.

Why the fuck did Katy Perry show up with Riff Raff?

Dude's a loser by all accounts. Be better than that KP. 

Clemson 2014 Preview

2014 Clemson Tigers Football Preview

As the college football season quickly approaches, I wanted to preview my Tigers' season. With a lot of changes on offense this year, the defense will be at the forefront of the team's success, at least early on in the season.

With the best ACC QB in history Tajh Boyd, stud WR Sammy Watkins, starting RB Roderick McDowell, and freak athlete WR Martavis Bryant all gone, the Tigers are looking very different on offense this year. That being said, Head Coach Dabo Swinney and OC Chad Morris have a lot to work with and I wouldn't expect a drastic change in the amount of points Clemson puts up on the scoreboard this year. Let's take a look at some of the key players on O.

Cole Stoudt, QB

Replacing Tajh Boyd is a tough task, but Cole Stoudt has been under his wing for three years and has had a lot of in-game experience due to Clemson demolishing nearly every opponent. Stoudt was 47-59 for 415 yards and 5 TDs last year in the back-up role. Also, Chad Morris's offense is based a lot around WR screen passes and short routes with the occasional long ball. Stoudt is more than capable of running the offense as the starter and probably a better short route thrower than Tajh. I doubt his deep ball is better than Tajh's due to the fact that Tajh has unbelievable arm strength and can drop absolute dimes into receivers' bread baskets from 60 yards away. Anyway, I think Stoudt should be a solid QB this year.

Charone Peake, WR

Charone Peake would've had a very respectable year last season as the number 3 WR if he hadn't torn his ACL early in the season. He's said to be even faster than Martavis Bryant who was faster than Sammy Watkins, which seems nearly impossible. As the number 1 guy this year, expect him to have a breakout year and I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being one of the best wideouts in the country because Clemson is Wide Receiver U. They constantly produce ridiculous wide receivers (i.e. DeAndre Hopkins, Sammy Watkins, etc.)

Mike Williams, WR

Mike Williams had a solid freshman year last year racking up 316 yards and 3 TDs on 20 catches. He is very gifted athletically. He's 6'3" and will probably be Cole Stoudt's top red zone/goal line weapon since he can go up and get the jump ball. 

Some quick notes on other offensive players:
At running back, the speedy tandem of DJ Howard and CJ Davidson could be troublesome for defenses. While Zac Brooks (out for season) is stronger, the other two are quicker and are deadly in open space. Other guys could also step in at running back. Other wideouts that could have impact seasons are Adam Humphries (41 catches, 483 yds, 2 TDs in 2013), Germone Hopper (23 catches, 149 yds, 2 TDs), and any number of the very talented freshman WR class. Of Clemson's top 5 recruits for this year, 4 of them were wide receivers, so they could be keys on offense this year. At tight end, there are three players with decent amount of experience. Sam Cooper, Stanton Seckinger and Jordan Leggett are all battling for more significant playing time this year. Of them all, Leggett is clearly the most talented but it's up to him to gain the respect from the coaching staff in order to earn the number 1 TE job. Personally, I think Leggett is a freak athletically and is poised for a breakout year.

Clemson's strength, at least early on, will be their defense. This has not been the case the last few years, but DC Brent Venable's defense returns the entire starting D Line which was one of the most productive in the country last year. Here are the key guys on D:

Vic Beasley, DE

First of all HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA look at Aaron Murray just getting fucking destroyed. Vic Beasley is insanely athletic for a DE and will probably be a first round pick in the 2015 draft. He had 13 sacks last season and led the nation in sacks for a good part of the year before he faced a bunch of bullshit option teams in the second half and couldn't get very many sacks. He's solid on the run as well. You know how Clowney said he can see fear in Tajh's eyes when he faced him? Well I think everyone is gonna be scared of Vic Beasley this year. The dude's unreal.

Stephone Anthony, LB

Stephone Anthony had a great game in the Orange Bowl that included the game-sealing interception late in the 4th quarter. He's poised for a great season this year as he looks to replace the great leadership of Spencer Shuey in the front seven. 

Grady Jarrett, DT

Grady Jarrett is an absolute force in the middle against the run. He can get the to the QB sometimes, but his main strength is stopping the run which will be key in the first game of the year against Todd Gurley.

Some quick notes on other defensive players:
Corey Crawford and DeShawn Williams are the other returners on the D Line and could have very good seasons as well. Travis Blanks and Jayron Kearse will try to lead the secondary to a better year. A lot of the secondary is talented, but sometimes make some stupid plays. Hopefully Darius "pass interference" Robinson being gone will help out with that. I'm hoping that redshirt freshman CB Mackensie Alexander will stay healthy and be an impact this year after missing last season. He's a former #4 overrall recruit and the word is he's pretty good. 


I don't wanna sound pessimistic but there's a very real chance that we start the year 1-2 after the first 3 games. Going to Georgia and Florida State are tough tasks to say the least. The other preseason ranked teams that the Tigers will face are UNC and of course, the chickens. I pray to God that we end the streak and finally beat South Carolina but with our luck, Adam Humphries will probably muff 6 more punts in that game and ruin our chances.

Best Case Scenario: The Tigers eek out a tough one in Athens opening week, upset crab leg boy and FSU, overcome their demons against South Carolina, and take care of everyone else on their way to an undefeated season and they're playoff bound.

Worst Case Scenario: Clemson's worst case scenario could be many teams' best case scenario. The worst I see Clemson going this year is 9-3 which is still respectable after losing much of your starting offense. 

Obviously, I'm hoping to be closer to the best case scenario, but only time will tell. I'm ready to get back in Death Valley and enjoy another season of Clemson football. If you've never been to Death Valley, it is truly one of the greatest sporting spectacles in the world. There's absolutely nothing like it. Favorite place on Earth.

I fuckin love Dabo.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Miami Hurricanes 2014 Season Preview

I'm expecting big things from Miami this season. Al Golden has been working extremely hard to get the team back to what they used to be. The Miami Hurricanes that everyone feared. I can't wait for them to get back to that and I think this season could be a good starting point. 

Season Opener: Sept 1st vs Louisville 
Important Games: Louisville, Nebraska, Virgina Tech, Florida State

Key Returners:
Duke Johnson/ RB/ SR
If you know anything about college football, you know how sick Duke Johnson is. Everyone is ready for him to have a huge season after his season getting cut short last year. He is a definite Heisman candidate.

Stacy Coley/ WR/ SO
Coley is coming off of an awesome freshman year. He played in all 13 games and made 7 starts. He lead the team in receiving touch downs with seven, ranked second in receiving yards (591) and third in receptions (33) He also led team in both kick return yards (570) and punt return yards (220). I can't wait to see what he does for his sophomore year, I'm expecting big things. 

Clive Walford/ TE/ SR
Clive played in all 13 games, started in 12 of them. He finished the year with 454 receiving yards and and 2 TD's on 34 catches. He's a good team leader and should be a stud this year.

Denzel Perryman/ LB/ SR
Just thinking about Perryman gets me absolutely FIRED up. I wrote a blog about him the other day. He's so ready for the season to start that he's been knocking his teammates' heads off and I love it. There's been a lot of hype saying he's a lot like Clowney and I don't doubt that for a second. He lead the team with 108 tackles last season. 

Anthony Chickillo/ DL/ SR 
Chickillo started all 13 games last season and and recorded 46 tackles, 3.5 sacks and 7 QB hurries.

The Canes have some tough match ups this season but I think they should be ready for it. They need to come right out at Lousiville and get revenge for their embarrassing bowl loss last year. Beating Nebraska and FSU would also be huge wins. I can't wait to see them play FSU, always one of my favorite games of the year. I think the canes can end up with a 10-3 record this season and they should definitely make the play offs.

Who's Playing QB?
It was just announced that true freshman Brad Kaaya will be the starting QB for the Canes when they face Louisville in their season opener. I'm pumped to see Kaaya play, he should be an absolute stud and I'me excited to see him grow into his own in the coming years. 
"As I told him, he's our quarterback,He's not a freshman quarterback. He's the University of Miami quarterback."- Al Golden

"There's a standard of excellence at the University of Miami, and you're held to that standard, which we've all accepted by going to the University of Miami. The one thing I think that's different about this team is that they believe in who they are, so they certainly respect the past, but they want to represent who they are and their identity as a football team. There's been nothing about the 2014 team that even resembles the 2013 team. They wanted to be their own team, have their own leadership and really move forward. So I'm excited about these guys saying, 'OK, let's go out and make our own identity’ as opposed to relying on something that happened quite a while ago." - Al Golden