Friday, July 31, 2015

Fire Jam Friday



We got an awesome slate of new music on this week's FJF. 1D dropped a new single outta the blue, Carly Rae stays hot as can be, some new Luke Bryan. And to balance out all the new stuff, we got a bunch of classics thrown in as well. An all time FJF this week folks. Enjoy. 


#FireJamFriday

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The Packers New Throwback Alternate Jerseys Are Hot Fire




A photo posted by Green Bay Packers (@packers) on
Let's gooooo. HOT FIRE. Needed a little change from those other blue ones with the circle around the numbers. Love this move because it's almost like a double throwback. Not only is it a throwback to the 1937-49 seasons but it's kinda a throwback to when the Packers wore similar jerseys back in 1994 with Favre. Need one of these.





Tom Brady 4-Game Suspension Upheld

So the news broke today that the most corrupt ruler in the world continued to be corrupt. Roger Goodell upheld Brady's 4 game suspension. It's absolutely bullshit. Something that everyone is up in arms about is the fact that Tom Brady destroyed his cellphone. But my question is do you HONESTLY think that Tom Brady has to hand over his cell phone to the NFL? The NFL isn't the government, they don't hold that type of power. If someone that hated you asked to see your cell phone, would you give it to them? 0 shot, even if you have nothing to hide you wouldn't give it to your enemy.  Brady said himself that he gets a new cellphone every four months and gives his old one to his assistant. I'm guessing there's no shot that Brady said he destroys his phone, that's what the NFL said. Brady has way too many really smart lawyers that would not let him say that. 
It's obviously not the best look, but there's no way that Tom Brady "destroyed" his cell phone. Anyone that thinks the Wells report was all the evidence needed, you're an IDIOT! No shit the Wells report backed up what Goodell said, HE HIRED THE FIRM TO DO THE REPORT! You think Goodell didn't throw them a little extra cash to swing this in the NFL's favor? I also hate everyone saying "Why doesn't Tom Brady just admit to it?" BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO IT AND THERE'S NO PROOF OF HIM DOING IT. No shit he didn't admit to it, you don't admit to something you didn't do. 
I think that this says it all and makes it clear that this has just been a witch hunt all along. If the Wells' team had all of Brady's communications with these guys what in the WORLD do they need his cell phone for? Are you fucking serious? YOU HAVE ALL OF THE MESSAGES BETWEEN THE PARTIES! What did they think they would find on Brady's phone? 
This is straight from Donald Yee, Tom Brady's agent. Just once again proving that everyone in the NFL is a huge god damn idiot and this has been a witch hunt all along. As to the actual suspension it's a four gamer, which means Tom will miss games against the Steelers, Bills, Jags and Cowboys. Unfortunately the Pats have a Week 4 bye. If Brady really does end up being suspended for all four games, I am not worried AT ALL about Jimmy G. I have as much faith in him as possible. The banner is supposed to be raised Week 1 obviously to celebrate the Super Bowl win, I think that if Kraft has ANY balls left at all, he has to move the banner raising to week 7 against the Jets, Tom Brady's first home game. It really blows that Brady won't be in game action till Week 6, October 18th against guess who! The Colts!!! I can't wait for Brady to come back that week and shove the Colts stupid little faces into the ground and beat them by 38 points again. It was reported that the NFLPA was going to take this to court and it would go to a court in Minnesota where there is a judge that frequently rules against the NFL, so instead of that Roger Goodell goes to one of his buddies in New York City and decides to take this to court so they will back him up, rather than the NFLPA taking it to court where it will be seen in fair eyes. 

The next few coming weeks should be interesting as this all unravels. 
#FreeBrady
#FuckGoodell
#InJimmyWeTrust

Monday, July 27, 2015

This Chinese Lady Getting Swallowed by an Escalator Makes Me Not Want to Take an Escalator Ever Again




SourceBEIJING — A Chinese woman died after being trapped in a shopping mall escalator, but not before pushing her 2-year-old son to safety.
Sunday’s horrific accident in the central city of Jingzhou was caught on surveillance camera footage that circulated heavily on the Internet in China.
The woman — identified in media reports as 30-year-old Xiang Liujuan — is shown reaching the top of the escalator when the section of landing platform she had stepped onto suddenly collapses, trapping her inside the still-moving machinery.
The footage shows that Xiang managed to push her son into the arms of shop attendants near the top of the escalator. The attendants tried to pull her to safety, but Xiang fell into the mechanism and was killed.
The state-run People’s Daily’s online edition and other media outlets said her body was recovered four hours later, after crews disassembled the escalator.
Although escalator deaths are extremely rare, China’s breakneck economic development and sometimes cavalier attitude toward safety, quality control and maintenance have led to frequent industrial accidents such as fires, building and bridge collapses, and ship sinkings or collisions. 


Think I might just take the stairs from now on. That shit was creepy. I don't even know how that happens but it didn't look like fun. I mean I guess the odds of this happening in America are pretty low, but still screw escalators. They're gonna forever freak me out now. Hopefully though, our escalators over here aren't built or installed by 12 year old Chinese kids and we can have zero lives lost in America via escalator death traps.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Fire Jam Friday


Hopefully you don't have work tomorrow like I do, but either way you can sit back, relax, maybe enjoy a drink or two and jam out to this week's FJF. Got a couple old timers on here this week, including my boy Frank Sinatra. Guy was such a boss. Anyway, enjoy folks. 


#FireJamFriday

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

#5YearsOfOneDirection So It Seems Like a Good Time to Put Together a Top 5 1D Songs So Far List


So I guess it's the 5 year anniversary of One Direction becoming a band so I'll do my part in the celebration and give a little top 5 songs so far countdown. I know I know, seems impossible right? Well as hard as this will be, I'm game for it so here we go.

5. "What Makes You Beautiful"

4. "Where Do Broken Hearts Go"

3. "Story of My Life"

2. "Steal My Girl"

1. "One Thing"

Didn't even like 1D until "One Thing" came out as the second single. And it's still my favorite. Honestly though, this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Apologies to Gotta Be You, Same Mistakes, You and I, Change Your Ticket, 18, Stockholm Syndrome, No Control, Diana, C'mon C'mon, Strong, Better Than Words and Everything About You. Oh, and all the other songs as well.

We've been blessed with 5 years of One Direction, and here's to hoping we get at least 5 more.

A Little T-Swift, Nicki Minaj Feud Broke Out On Twitter Last Night














And then Nicki retweeted this:




If you aren't Team T-Swift in this little affair then you might wanna check your pulse. And I like Nicki Minaj. But she's all over the place here. I don't even know what her argument is. Is it that she has a fat ass so she doesn't get nominations but skinny girls do? Or is it that she's black so she doesn't get nominations? Or is it that Tidal sucks so she doesn't get nominations? Honestly, all arguments are pretty shitty ones because a) Nicki Minaj is pretty fit and while yeah she has a big ass and tits, she's not big enough to be complaining about skinny girls getting nominations over her due to her shape -- in fact she'd probably be more inclined to get a nomination for the way she looks; b) the nominations have nothing to do with race because Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar and Bruno Mars are all nominated for Video of the Year; and c) Tidal, the failed attempt to get people to pay to stream music, has nothing to do with the VMAs soooo yeah Nicki you're wrong in every aspect of this argument.

I'm pretty sure "Anaconda" wasn't up for video of the year because it's just a straight up awful song. I mean yeah it broke records and yeah I can watch Nicki Minaj bounce her ass for four minutes but even though this is a music video award, the song has to be somewhat decent. And "Anaconda" is a really terrible song so that's that. And bouncing your ass and twerking for the entire video isn't choreography. It's just borderline porn. And that's okay. It's nice. But you can't complain about not getting that nomination. Just grow up Nicki and realize that sometimes you don't get nominated for things. Watch the ESPYs and you'll learn a thing or two about snubs.

Taylor's response was lame but she didn't even have to say anything to win this one. Nicki killed herself by going on and on and not making sense and changing her argument 8000 times.

Aaaaand then Katy Perry got involved and kinda destroyed Tay.



I technically never picked sides in the whole Taylor Swift, Katy Perry thing and I've taken some heat for it (by heat I mean that Luke gives me shit for it) but I can recognize when one of my girls crushes the other in a particular instance. Nicki just crushed herself with Tay getting credit for the kill, and Katy Perry pretty much just ruined Tay with this tweet. I mean it's true. Taylor says "unlike you to pit women against each other" but the video she has nominated for video of the year is a diss track about another woman. Soooo sorry Tay, I had been giving you the edge over KP lately (in my mind, never went public with that) because I hadn't heard from her in a minute but here she is out of nowhere just wrecking Taylor. Sorry Tay, she's got ya here.



UPDATE

Taylor conceded the battle, but she knows she was right. There's no way Nicki Minaj wasn't directing her tweets at Tay. But T-Swift just doesn't wanna have to deal with this shit. 



Honestly, I miss the 16 year old Tay that was just ruthless and gave zero fucks. I mean I know Nicki wasn't one of her boyfriends but I wouldn't have minded seeing a little fire from Tay in this situation. And since it's Thursday now, I'll give you a little bit of a throwback to show you what I'm talking about.

Nicki Minaj is wasted time for Taylor Swift. Needs to strike a match to it instead of fake apologizing.

Also, screw this version of the song. If you aren't afraid of the word "gay" being used in a song, here's the real song. Tay used to be a savage. Now she's just a nice girl who puts out absolute fire jams. Love her either way.

A-Rod Absolutely Killed It at CC Sabathia's Birthday Party the Other Day





Celebrating with CC Sabathia. Perfect way to spend a day off. Is the cigar too much? :) #yankees #HappyBirthdayCC


Sorry that's all messed up and not in line but this site blows and I thought the caption was a necessary part of this post. Whatever. Anyway, the main point of this blog is just to show more reasons of why you should love A-Rod and everything he does. "Is the cigar too much?:)" Nope Alex, you with a cigar in your hand feels just right. Keep on crushing life.



Friday, July 17, 2015

Fire Jam Friday


First of all, sorry all my blogs basically have been FJFs lately but I'm a busy man so deal with it. Second of all, it's the God damn weekend so let's crank up the volume on this week's FJF because it is absolute dynamite. Carly Rae Jepsen is killing it lately and she's got another new song out, there's some new Luke Bryan which I'm happy to say is a lot better than his last single. And then there's just some good ole jams. Just grab a beer or twelve and let Ke$ha take you into the weekend.


#FireJamFriday

Thursday, July 16, 2015

John Daly Crushing the Open Championship

John Daly is having himself a god damn  helluva week at the Open Championship at St. Andrews and I absolutely LOVE it. I keep watching the video of him ripping a heater at the end of his interview and it kills me every single time. Everything this guy does is absolute gold. Obviously his pants game is fire. Guy gives zero fucks. Rocks the sickest mullet. All jokes asided, if I could find out where JD gets his pants I would order a million. I need every single pair. In another interview this week when Daly was asked about his work out routine he said "I don't work out, I put out" you fuckin' savage Johnny i love it. There's absolutely no one in this world that i'd rather hang out with. He kills life 24/7. The next great move by Johnny was showing up to the Past Champions Photo in this unreal sports coat. 
You handsome SOB, JD. Today Johnny boy was playing with Jason Dufner and Miguel Jimenez. What a got dang crew! Dufner is out there packing the fattest lips you'll ever see, JD is chain smoking heaters and Jimenez is crushing cubans. I'd love to be a fly on the wall with those three. After the round they'll probably head on over to the local saloon (i'm pretty sure that's what they call bars on the other side of the pond) and grab a few Budweisers and make fun of the locals. 

Mullets, cigs and booze for life baby!

Clemson Kicker Dabbles In Cocaine

Source- Speaking at his annual golf outing Wednesday, Clemson’s Dabo Swinney was asked about the status of starting kicker Ammon Lakip.  In late June, reports surfaced that Lakip had been charged with possession of cocaine and driving under the influence following an incident earlier that month. “Ammon will hopefully have a chance to return to our team,” Swinney said. “At the earliest, it would be when school starts. But he’ll miss some time.”

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Lakip was trying to drown his sorrows from his sorry ass season. Kid was an absolute brick on the field. Basically lost the FSU game and just generally sucked. The amount of money I lost on him missing stupid field goals (2 under 30yds). Driving under the influence part is a real dick head move. But Dabo saying "he'll miss sometime for dabbling in cocaine" is absolutely hilarious to me. I'm not sure why Dabo would even allow this idiot back on the team, he's no good anyways. Go get some european off the soccer team and convince him to play a real man's sport and boom, you'll have a good kicker. They should send this weirdo with a weird name back to Hawaii or wherever he gets that bronze skin from. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Wednesday Bangerz

It's been a while since I've done a Wednesday Bangers so I figured why not. This one absolutely rips. The whole time. So if I was you i'd go down to your favorite swimming hole with a couple buddies and a bottle of JD and have a good time. That's what Wednesday afternoons in the summer are for, right? Sidenote, yes I know Maroon 5 is on here. I couldn't resist that song is too god damn good. I can't deny it.

Monday, July 13, 2015

This Kid Replying All to a University Email Asking Clemson to Change the Title of Their "Chief Diversity Officer" Position Because it's Racist to Native Americans Can't Be Serious, Can He?



So everyone at Clemson got a mass email asking people to review some candidates for the new Chief Diversity Officer position and this absolute lunatic replied all and sent this email complaining about how calling the position CHIEF Diversity Officer is racist towards Native Americans because that word is reserved just for Native American tribe chiefs. Just incredibly absurd if this kid is being serious. I want to believe it so bad but who knows anymore man. Could just be a weirdo replying all to mass emails trying to mess with the university. 

If this guy is serious, I have one question for him. Does he want every company in existence to change the title name for their Chief Executive Officer and Chief Financial Officer? He probably doesn't even know that's what CEO and CFO stand for. 

Also, there is literally a less than zero percent chance that this kid with the last name of Schweiker is a Native American.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Djokovic Wins Wimbledon, Eats the Grass Again



Big bounce back at Wimbledon for Djokovic after losing the French Open final last month. I honestly feel like no one loves winning Wimbledon more than the Djoker. I mean the dude eats grass every time he wins, it's absurd. He's just a friggin boss and I love him. Huge man crush on Djokovic. My head hurt when I woke up but getting to watch a Djokovic/Federer Wimbledon final was a treat. Tennis is such an underrated sport and if you don't watch the Grand Slams then you're a loser. Gotta love it.




Friday, July 10, 2015

Fire Jam Friday


It's Friday bitches! And unfortunately for me that doesn't mean jack squat since I have to work tomorrow. But that also doesn't mean I can't jam out to some absolute fire flames songs. So here's this week's FJF.


#FireJamFriday

Monday, July 6, 2015

Girl Eats a Pop Tart Without Permission, Parents Promptly Send Her to Live in the Woods


SourceDALZELL, S.C. (AP) – Deputies say a Sumter County couple has been arrested after they forced their 14-year-old daughter to live in a tent in the woods because she ate a Pop Tart without permission.
Investigators said 33-year-old James Driggers and his 36-year-old wife, Crystal, only gave their daughter a flashlight, a roll of toilet paper, a whistle and a watch and told her she had to stay out in the woods for a week.
Deputies say the parents told the girl she had to meet someone at a fence at specific times to get any food.
Authorities found the girl Friday night, two days into her punishment. She was outside during Thursday night’s severe storms.
The parents are charged with child neglect. It wasn’t known if they had lawyers.


Pretty generous assortment of items they gave her if you ask me. If my daughter ever has a pop tart in my home without permission I'm sending her into the forest with nothing. Absolutely nothing. You eat a pop tart in my house, you're getting the full punishment because I can't have that sorta rebellious activity going on under my roof. I was raised not to eat pop tarts and I will raise my kids to not eat pop tarts as well (even though pop tarts are literally the only thing I ever eat for breakfast when I'm at school). 




P.S. If I ate a Rold Gold pretzel instead of a Newman's organic pretzel growing up, this could have happened to me.





s/o to Colby for sending me the story


Friday, July 3, 2015

Fire Jam Friday


I know I made a Fourth of July playlist but the Friday before the Fourth certainly deserves its own FJF still. So here we go. Got some new Demi Lovato and Meek Mill, along with some classics. I find a lot of inspiration for these from movies and we've got some absolute jams from movies I've watched recently. So enjoy the tunes folks, got plenty of it for this great weekend. Have fun getting hammered and happy Fourth!


#FireJamFriday

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Charleston Shooter's Sister Started a Go Fund Me for Her Dream Wedding and Honeymoon that Was Cancelled Because Her Brother Murdered 9 People


SourceThe sister of racist Charleston gunman Dylann Roof sparked outrage with an online fundraising campaign to raise donations, not for the lives lost, but for her honeymoon and dream wedding.
“It was going to be the PERFECT day!” Amber Roof wrote on her GoFundMe page, which was swiftly taken down on Thursday afternoon.
“As many of you know Michael and I had to abruptly cancel our wedding day, due to the tragedy that occurred in Charleston,” she said. “We would like the chance to start our lives on a positive note. Therefore, we have decided to start a Go Fund Me account. We know money cannot replace the wedding we lost and our perfect day, however it will help us to create new memories and a new start with our new family.”
The 27-year-old was set to be married on June 21 — four days after her brother allegedly slaughtered nine worshipers at the historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church.
In four days, Roof had received 36 contributions. As of noon Thursday, she had raised $1,609 of her $5,000 goal.
“June 21st was suppose to be the happiest day of our lives,” Roof said. “It is the day every girl dreams of, it was the day we dreamed of. We had each other, we have the perfect venue, and we had our vows ready to be read. We were ready! We had planned out every detail for months and months. Many friends and family members came into town and took time off of work to be there for us. We could not ask you to do that again.”
Roof also went on to blast the press for the cancellation.
“The media abused our privacy and published all of our wedding information and destroyed our dream day,” she fumed. “Destroying the first day of Michael and my life together….We would like the chance to start our lives on a postive note.” 
Roof claims the “money raised will be used to cover lost wedding costs, to pay bills, and to send us on our dream honeymoon” — while just 10 percent of all funds will be donated to Emanuel AME Church.
Despite the contributions, most people have been disgusted by Roof’s request for cash.
“THE NERVE OF YOU!!!” one commenter said. “If its just about getting married then go to the court house. But how dare u set up a gofundme under these circumstances.”
Another person wrote, “This has to be the most self-centered and insensitive fundraising page I’ve ever encountered and I’m shocked that gofundme hasn’t erased you from their existence already!”
“I can’t imagine the anguish and sorrow that your own brother has inflicted on so many wonderful and kind people,” she continued. “And all the while, you are fantasizing about letting others fund your honeymoon!!”
Attempts to reach Roof by phone Thursday were unsuccessful.



I'm truly sorry to the people of Charleston that this family resides in their city. I mean obviously you can't get much worse than shooting up a church and murdering 9 people but this sister is about as close as you can get without murdering more people yourself. Like what went through her mind when she was deciding whether or not to start this Go Fund Me? I imagine it going something like this: "Killing 9 people isn't as bad as killing 10 people. My nice wedding and honeymoon is pretty important so I think it's okay." Also, how bout her goal being $5000? Is that a lot? I don't think so. Feel like weddings and honeymoons cost A LOT more than that. What a bum.
How bout the people that actually gave money to this bitch? Just as despicable pretty much. Who are these people? Like seriously.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Huge Bruins Moves

So it's been a pretty big day for the Bruins. They hadn't done anything in the first day of free agency up until right now. The news has came out via multiple reliable sources that the Bruins are trading Reilly Smith and Marc Savard to the Florida Panthers for Jimmy Hayes. Getting rid of Savard's contract is awesome, it's absolutely huge for the Bruins and clears up space. Marc Savard was a great guy and a great hockey player so it's a shame what happened to him (thanks Matt Cooke). I absolutely hate Reilly Smith, I think he got a little to big for his britches. He didn't do much of anything last season and didn't seem to be an asset to the team what so ever. Adding Jimmy Hayes is awesome, he's a big guy that will fit in Boston perfectly he's a super solid right winger that I think will help the team immediately. I expect to see him on the right wing of the Marchand-Bergeron line. They needed to fill that spot because clearly Reilly Smith wasn't working out at all. Matt Beleskey was probably the most sought after player in the free agency so the Bruins being able to get him is absolutely huge. At first, I was scared that the Bruins were going to way overpay him and he could end up like David Clarkson. Instead of doing that, the Bruins managed to sign him to a 3.8/4yr deal which is awesome. Beleskey had a great play off run but in my opinion that wasn't enough to sign him to a major contract. Beleskey is going to be a great fit in Boston and I think this will be a good marriage. So after all this, I have to apologize to Don Sweeney and the Bruins for all the hurtful things I have said in the past week, I am sorry. Let it be on record that I still hate the Hamilton trade and I will never ever understand why they traded for Rinaldo, it will never make sense to me. I think the last thing that the Bruins need to do is somehow land a top  4 or even top 2 defenseman since their defense as of right now is pretty ugly. Anyways, I couldn't be happier with that Don Sweeney and the Bruins front office did today. 


Fourth of July Playlist



Alright ladies and gents, it's July and so obviously the Fourth of July is coming up. So pumped it's on a Saturday so we can all party hard and not worry about work the next day. I made a pretty elaborate and pretty awesome Fourth of July playlist and it should honestly be the only thing you listen to on Saturday. Shit I might play from now all the way through Saturday. I pretty much included any song I could think of that was America themed or that had "Fourth of July" in the lyrics because why the hell not. I may even add some more as the week continues if I can think of any others. Throw some suggestions my way if you think of some. For now though, you've got 72 fire songs of freedom to jam out to. Hope everyone is stocking up on beer, burgers, dogs and fireworks to celebrate America's birthday.


#FireJamFourthOfJuly

Tiger Woods Breaks Up Jason Dufners Marriage

Source- The National ENQUIRER reveals in a bombshell report that Woods’ new squeeze is 27-year-old Amanda Boyd, whose marriage to struggling golferJason Dufner ended with a quickie divorce in April. “Even though Tiger dated Lindsey for years, he had a ‘thing’ for Amanda,” a source told The ENQUIRER. “At first, it was just innocent flirting, but earlier this year it became serious.”According to the source, Woods and Boyd have been carrying on their steamy affair for months.


I'm so absolutely rattled. What in the world are you doing, Tiger? Can you keep your dick in your pants for like five minutes????? Like you just go out and ruin the hottest couple in golf? who the fuck do you think you are? There was no better couple in sports and Tiger just had to go pipe Amanda. I've never felt as bad for someone as I feel for DuffDaddy right now. Had this smokeshow of a wife, was packing dips and fat and golfing every day. That's the god damn life. Then Tiger had to come in and ruin it all. It's going to be REAL interesting when Tiger and Duf get paired together. I hope that Duf just spits dip on Tiger's shoes and punches him in the face and walks away. For Tiger's whole comeback, I've been rooting for him and hoping he gets a win, but not anymore. I hope for nothing but the worst in the rest of life for you, Tiger. Also F U, Amanda. Didn't realize you were such a hussy. Just going around the tour flirting with all the players right in Duf's face. You suck. 
(sidenote: If you want to get dinner and drinks, lmk)


Penguins Acquire Phil Kessel from Toronto


ESPNThe most buzzworthy NHL name of the summer is on the move, with theToronto Maple Leafs shipping star winger Phil Kessel to the Pittsburgh Penguins

The Leafs are sending Kessel, forward Tyler Biggs, defenseman Tim Erixon and a conditional draft pick to the Penguins in exchange for defenseman Scott Harrington, forwards Kasperi Kapanen and Nick Spaling, a conditional draft pick and a third-round selection in '16.



I think the Blackhawks have had the Cup long enough, right? Couple weeks is good. They got their parade in and went on Wrigley Field and went to Jimmy Buffett with it. So can they just hand it over to Pittsburgh now? 

In all seriousness, I know one great player added to a team that was bounced in the first round won't turn them into the Stanley Cup favorites, but Phil Kessel is a star and can vastly improve Pittsburgh's offense. He's a great goal scorer and he and Crosby on the same line is gonna be scary. Can't wait to see that shit in action. Another big thing is that the Pens didn't give up too much. I don't think Harrington has made it up to the NHL yet, and if he has he hasn't played much. Kapanen has potential I think, but he's been up and down from the minors so far in his career. And Spaling was okay last year in his only season with the Pens. Getting this deal done without giving up Olli Maatta or Derrick Pouliot, their two top young defensemen, was huge. I'm not the biggest hockey guy but I become more and more of a fan every year, and now I'm really pumped for next season. 

Lady Gets Stranded in Forest, Gives Birth and Survives on Apples


SourceOROVILLE, Calif. — Authorities rescued a woman and her newborn baby after her family says she gave birth in a remote national forest in Northern California.
US Forest Service spokesman Chris French said Tuesday that a helicopter pilot responding to a brush fire Saturday first spotted a mother and an infant. Rescue workers on the ground whisked the pair to safety and they were taken to a hospital, French said.
French said the cause of the fire is under investigation.
“I cannot confirm the day of birth beyond that she reported to us she had been there for three days,” French said. “Also, her statement to us was that she gave birth at her vehicle within the forest. We did not witness the birth.”
Amber Pangborn, 35, was released from a hospital on Monday, her mother said. The infant, Marissa, remains at the University of California, Davis medical center. The medical center didn’t return a call inquiring about the infant’s condition. Pangborn’s mother, Dianna Williams, said the baby is “doing great.”
Williams said the infant weighs about 4 pounds. Williams said Pangborn underwent gastric bypass surgery before the birth, a procedure that sometimes results in the birth of underweight infants.
Pangborn didn’t return repeated phone calls Tuesday to her Paradise, California, home.
According to Pangborn’s mother, her daughter was nine months pregnant and decided to visit an Oroville casino Wednesday to walk around in an attempt to induce labor. Williams said her daughter was traveling to another area casino when she ended up on a remote road in the national forest and ran out of gas. There was no mobile phone reception, Williams said. Oroville is about 80 miles north of Sacramento.
Williams said her daughter told her she went into labor early Thursday, unrolled a sleeping bag and gave birth in her car’s backseat. Williams said Pangborn spent the next two days swatting away bees and insects, fearful of a bear attack. Mother and daughter survived on water and apples, Williams said.
On Saturday, Williams said Pangborn used a lighter, a can of hairspray and a can of oil to start a signal fire with the sleeping bag.
“She is smart and tough,” Williams said. “I’m relieved it turned out all right.”
French of the Forest Service said the fire burned about a quarter of an acre before it was extinguished.


I don't really know what to say about this lady. Maybe don't drive around all of California looking for ways to induce labor when you have no gas in your car? Seems like that might be a good idea. Or just wait until you just go into labor? I feel like that could have prevented a forest birth as well. All around a pretty weird situation, but at least she had some apples to eat. Also, such a typical mother thing to do saying that her daughter is smart just because she knew how to start a fire with oil and a lighter even though she's clearly a moron. Like hey mom, do you really not realize how stupid your daughter is? Just a completely brainless idiot. 


P.S. Is a 4 pound baby even a human?