Wednesday, April 30, 2014

How Pissed Was Donald Sterling While Taking This Picture?

How pissed was Donald Sterling when this picture was being taken? As everyone ever knows, Donald Sterling is EXTREMELY racist. Homeboy told his girlfriend that she could bang a dude with AIDS but she can't put pictures of him on Instagram. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. That's just not right. I saw this picture and couldn't help but laugh. Chris Tucker looks way more pissed than Sterling. Sterling actually seems happy? I know it's godda be a front though. it must have KILLED him to take this picture. 

NHL Playoffs Round 2 Preview... Rangers vs. Penguins


This should be an awesome series. Although the hockey fan in me has to admit that I would have loved to see Penguins against the Flyers but whatever. In my eyes, each team has two big weak spots. The Penguins goaltending is incredibly shaky. We've all seen Fleury give up huge goals with a few minutes left in the third and in OT. We saw him last year against the Bruins...woof. The Rangers on the other hand are still looking for Rick Nash. They gave this dude a huge contract to produce in times like these. Yet he's gone 18 play off games for the blue shirts with out a powerplay goal. Although it's not a legendary hockey rivalry like the B's vs. Habs I'm sure it will be a great series. In the end I think the Rangers will prevail. Fleury is too unreliable in the net to get the Pens through this series.

Final Prediction:
Rangers in 7

There's Always An Excuse For Tony

Ahhh yes, Tony Romo the king of interceptions and failed playoff attempts. Should we blame previous injuries? Or should we acknowledge the fact that Tony cant pack dips during the games? He might as well throw in a fatty during the games and hope that hes calm enough to lead a winning drive for once. Despite his failures, i still consider him a top 10 QB. Terrell Owens once shed tears for Tony, but i refuse to do the same.

This guy has THE life

Just throwing it out there, but IF i decide to buy a tremendous amount of marijuana i know exactly where to go. I understand that Jamaica isn't the most prosperous county, but i can only imagine that this bro has quite the life. Wandering aimlessly through a field of stuff he just smoked, this guy understands the meaning of life. NATURAL HERBS MON.

NHL Round 2 preview... Bruins vs. Canadiens


I'm a huge Boston Bruins fan so forgive me if this extremely biased. I think the Bruins can wrap this up in 6 games. While the Canadiens are a good team and have dominated the Bruins in the regular season, none of that matters when you get to the play offs. Although the Bruins have a young, yet phenomenal defensive crew, everyone else on the team has awesome play off experience and knows how to play through the tough times. As long as the B's play within Claude Julien's system, I don't see any problems for the boys. Tuukka Rask is an absolute brick wall in the net so I don't have any fears when it comes to goaltending. With everything I just said, the Canadiens are a good team and for sure know how to play some good puck. I expect a series where everyone is on the edge of their seats the whole time.

Final Prediction:

UConn's Spring Weekend is officially dead

I could not be more pleased with the college i chose to attend, but recent activities around campus (or should i say lack of activities) has really prompted me to question what UConn's party scene has become. Spring weekend around campus was historically an absolute riot. Couches were lit on fire, street poles and signs ripped out of the ground, cars flipped, and the oh so hilarious sound of glass shattering into millions of tiny fragments. Spring Weekend has previously brought thousands of degenerate college students from all around New England to Storrs to engulf in man sodas, until 2010 when things got a little out of hand resulting in the death of a fellow husky. As a result, UConn forced campus into complete martial law for future Spring Weekends. The only aftermath of Spring Weekend lies in the front of my dorm building, where a handful of students threw away their mud destroyed shoes. Each year, countless students compete in "Ooozeball", a campus wide volleyball tournament that is played in the mud. Anyhow, walking around campus on Saturday night i couldn't help but notice that there was more of a police presence on and around campus then there were students. Fact of the matter is that more students went home last weekend instead of trying to spark a rager. Maybe i'm just a complete spoiled prick who got a little too much of the riots after our National Championship victory (bite me Calipari), but this was easily the calmest weekend here at UConn.

Rob Ford Is Taking a Break to Go to Rehab

Toronto Sun-Mayor Rob Ford tells the Toronto Sun that he is “ready to take a break” from the mayoral election campaign to “go get help.”

So I think this is the news we all kind of expected but never wanted to hear. Rob Ford is going to rehab. I'm sure if you're like me, you love Rob Ford. You know why? Cause you understand that every once and a while a bro needs to take a break, smoke some crack and get aggressively drunk. If you don't, you're probably a liar. I think this might be a good thing though. Rob Ford is gonna take a break then come back and BOOM! better than ever! ROB FORD BABY!!! But really, I don't know what I'll do if we don't get Rob Ford news every single day. The guy keeps me young I tell ya.

Here are my top 3 favorite Rob Ford moments:
Rob Ford getting tickled

Rob Ford dancing in a rasta hat

Rob Ford tackling an old lady

Guy Figures Out The Way To Drink Beer and Not Get Drunk. Absolutely No One's Objective

Esquire- "You wanna know my secret? How I can drink beer all night long and never get drunk?" 
In fact, I had always wondered that. Though this was the first time I’d ever formally met Koch, I’d “met” him in the past at a few beer festivals. Those sorts of events are always kind of Bacchanalian shit shows, with people imbibing dozens of beer samples in a short period and soon stumbling around large convention halls drunk of their asses. Brewers included. But not Koch, who I’d long noticed was always lucid, always able to hold court, and hold his own with those much younger than him. This billionaire brewing raconteur was doing likewise with me at 4 PM on a Thursday afternoon despite the fact we were both now several beers deep. So what was the secret?
“Active yeast. Like you get at the grocery store.”
Koch told me that for years he has swallowed your standard Fleischmann’s dry yeast before he drinks, stirring the white powdery substance in with some yogurt to make it more palatable.
“One teaspoon per beer, right before you start drinking.”
So apparently Jim Koch is some big wig at Samuel Adams, I've never heard of him and don't really care about him. What I do care about is that he figured out something that no one wanted to know. C'mon son, don't be a wet blanket and ruin it for all of us. If you don't want to get drunk, don't drink enough to get you drunk. Duh. I feel like that wasn't hard to figure out. Maybe I'm just sick at science (probably). Who would even want to eat yeast anyways? I feel like that's probably super gross and might make you sick? Maybe I don't know that much about science...

How Much Will Jay-Z Hate This Hidden Ball Lax Trick?

So unless you've been living in a cave Jay-Z put out a heavy diss on lax bros around the world.

Fuck a NCAA n***a, let a young n***a get paid, n***a

N***as talking down on the crown

Watch them n***as you ’round got you wrong

Haters wanna ball, let me tighten up my draw string

Wrong sport, boy, you know you’re as soft as a lacrosse team

I'm a white guy so  naturally I enjoy Jay-Z, but I also enjoy lacrosse. Hey J, you put me in a real tough spot here bro. Salisbury School is about 10mins away from my house and have pumped out some nasty lacrosse players. This video is awesome, wonder if Jay-Z has seen it yet. I bet he lost the ball, ha, idiot. I love it, Jay-Z disses the lax bros around this world then these white high school kids from Connecticut unleash this nasty wheeling and dealing. 

Drunk Football Fan Eating Popcorn

So this is my first blog post here on Top Cheddar, and I am more than honored to present you with my one and only hero. Back in late December of last year, the Washington State football team lost a close game in the New Mexico Bowl to Colorado State. Despite the score and rain, this dude seemed to find a way to entertain himself. You will first notice the massive amount of popcorn that is remaining on the bottom of his jacket because clearly, he is way too smashed to even notice. Just moments before this scene, the guy takes a full 90 degree head pull up to the sky and immediately pours the 500 pounds of popcorn into his mouth. Obviously, this guy is hungry and does NOT give a fuck about swallowing at least 60 uncooked popcorn kernels. He can blame the drunchies on this one, but from the looks of it, hes fully content with the way his day is going.

The Struggle is Real... Dude Breaks Into Store to Steal Cigarettes

NBC ConnecticutPolice are searching for the person who broke into a Berlin liquor store and stole cigarettes Sunday morning. According to police, the suspect smashed his way into the Berlin Spirits Shop at 118 Mill Street just after 8 a.m. Sunday. He broke the glass front door, entered the store and sold cigarettes, police said.
This is unreal. I just got off a period where I was pretty broke in-between paychecks but I did NOT even contemplate breaking into somewhere to steal cigarettes (probably because I don't smoke) but you get what I'm saying. The question I ask you is, how desperate do you have to be to break into a store just to steal cigarettes? If you're gonna risk it you might as well go big, maybe steal some money, nerd ropes, beer, mountain dew. Also- why didn't this dude just ask someone for some extra money? I feel like that's not too absurd.

Kid Has To Chose Between All The Ivy League Schools

NBC Connecticut- Kwasi Enin announced his decision during a news conference at William Floyd High School Wednesday with the type of fanfare usually reserved for college football and basketball recruits. Enin, who scored 2,250 out of 2,400 on his SAT, was accepted by Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, Princeton, Yale and the University of Pennsylvania earlier this year. He also was accepted at Duke and three State University of New York campuses. Enin said the school's inviting atmosphere, emphasis on music and financial aid offerings all contributed to him choosing Yale.

It's only May, we're not even half way through the year, and this kid has got to be a top contender for hardo of the year. Ok cool, congratulations you got into all the ivy league schools, that's damn impressive. But there is absolutely no reason to go and rub this in all of our faces. Ya, we get it you're the man. Don't have a press release to announce that you're going to Yale, bro. Must be nice having this problem. Hmm, do I go to Yale, Dartmouth, Princeton, Cornell, Duke? When I finish up my bid at the local branch of Uconn maybe I'll have a press release where I'm going next. 

Crazy Lady Auctioning Off Her Virginity

WFSBA 27-year-old American woman is making headlines for trying to sell something unusual online. The woman, who said her name is Elizabeth Raine, is offering her virginity up to the highest bidder. According to her website,, the top bid is $550,000. In an interview posted Monday, Raine told The Huffington Post that said she initially wanted to keep her identity hidden. "I didn't like the anonymity. People mistake it for shame," she said.

Am I the only one that finds this insane? For starters, there is no way this woman hasn't already lost her virginity, she's 27 years old. Next, who does she think she is? The hottest woman alive? Mmmmm nah. The dudes that are bidding $550,000 have got to be desperate, shall we say more desperate than this lady? Maybe. I feel like there's no way she's serious about this, you can't be. This is 100% just a scam so this lady can make a boat load of money. I guess whatever pays the bills...

P.S.- She kind of looks like Elliot from Scrubs, no?

CT Going Soft


WFSB- HARTFORD, CT (WFSB) -Apps used to easily hide other apps from watchful parents are now picking up steam among kids. Eyewitness News is on your side with everything parents need to know to keep tabs on your kid's digital activity. Several apps designed to keep personal information stored on cell phones secure are becoming popular. Those apps are now coming into question after tech savvy teens realized they could use them to hide the apps they don't want parents to see. In an age where there's an app for everything, students have access to a digital world where real dangers are lurking.

If you know me, you know how much I hate kids having cell phones. I don't see the point in it. But this is just insane, if you are going to give your kid a cell phone you should at least give them the freedom to use it as they want, cause you know they're going to no matter what you do. If you're going to give these kids cell phones don't monitor every single thing they do. Either give them freedom or don't. That's your decision, but don't half ass it. (like i tend to do with everything) 


Torrington Being Weird, What Else Did You Expect?

WTNH-  TORRINGTON, Conn. (WTNH) – Nineteen rabbits, four chickens, two dogs and one cat were seized from a Hayden Hill residence Monday after police were called to the home on a welfare check. While none of the animals appeared to be malnourished, an animal control officer determined the environment “unfit” for the animals, said police spokesman Lt. Bruce Whiteley. Whiteley said “a strong, unpleasant smell emanating from within the residence” greeted responding officers about 6 p.m. Monday.
This is absolutely absurd. Everyone from Connecticut knows that Torrington is somewhere you only go if you're going to Taco Bell or Walmart. Not somewhere you like to spend your free time. This just speaks to that even more. What kind of nut case keeps 26 animals in their house? They must have been kicked out of all the local petting zoos or something, I'm not really sure. This bastard probably didn't even let the animals out of the house to go to the bathroom. I'm seriously baffled how someone could even live in that house with those smells. My dog takes one shit in the house and I'm convinced I have to have the whole place fumigated.  C'mon son.
- Boomshakalaka

Does This Look like an Elementary Teacher Who Had 12K of Pot Seized?

WTNH-  MANCHESTER, Conn. (WTNH) – A 45-year-old Manchester elementary school teacher was arrested last week for allegedly running a marijuana grow operation from her Pine Street apartment. Kirsten Dergosits, who teaches third grade at Robertson Elementary School, was immediately placed on administrative leave, a school official said. Police said they seized 3.5 pounds of marijuana, nine plants, 13 seedlings, and marijuana packaging and growing equipment from Dergosits’ apartment at Ribbon Mills Apartments.The marijuana had an estimated street value of $12,000, police said Officers with the East Central Narcotics Taskforce also seized 22 grams of suspected Methamphetamine or MDMA, about $4,300 cash, a TV, several cell phones and a computer, police said.
How about this lady, huh. I don't know much about pot but from what I know about money, that's a TON of pot. I guess if I was teaching 3rd graders I'd want to smoke that much pot as well. No other way to cope, right? Also- that has got to be the scariest looking 3rd grade teacher ever. Seriously, seeing her every day is a recipe for nightmares. I'm not convinced she's not a dude. Also 22 grams of MDMA is no small thing, this lady knows how to party, I don't hate it.
- Boomshakalaka

Vermont Bro Takes Acid and Jumps Out Window

My Champlain Valley-  POULTNEY, Vt. - Vermont State Police say a Green Mountain College student who jumped through a 4th floor dorm window consumed alcohol that contained LSD. The incident happened at Ames Hall just after midnight on Sunday. 

Christian Pezzino, 23, of Reading, Penn., sustained traumatic injuries from the fall. He's currently in the ICU at Fletcher Allen and is receiving treatment for his injuries.

Police say five individuals drank from the wine bottle, including the victim. After consuming the drink, police say Pezzino ran to the end of the hall, for no apparent reason, and jumped through a glass window.

The incident is under investigation as a drug-related incident. 

If this doesn't scream college in Vermont then I don't know what does. Some bro got wine drunk (we all know how that goes) took a shit ton on LSD and jumped out of a window. Talk about a rough night, huh.

I honestly feel bad for the poor guy. He was probably just trying to have a good night and boom, he ends up in the hospital. Once again, we all know how that goes, I know a little too well due to the Uconn riots. I'm sure this is the last time this guy will take acid for a while. But you know what they say, hippies never learn.

P.S.  Has anyone ever said that before or did I just make it up?