Saturday, May 30, 2015

Maxim Hot 100 Breakdown

Alright so last week it was revealed that Taylor Swift would be the #1 on Maxim's annual Hot 100 list but the full breakdown of the rest wasn't on the website til this week. I didn't blog about T Swift claiming the top spot cause I wanted to wait til the rest of the list was out. Maxim did it kind of differently this year, breaking down different categories of women and then doing a readers' choice full 100. So, as I did last year I'm gonna break down this list for everyone, and give my top 5-10 hottest chicks in the world (with a little bias). Maxim's sections are The #1, The Ones to Watch, The Singers, The Actresses, The Models, and Readers' Choice. I'm gonna throw in an athletes section too. 

As much as I love Taylor, and as awesome and as beautiful as she is, I don't think she's the hottest chick in the world. Not gonna say who my #1 is yet, but it's not gonna be Tay.

I don't know what this section is, and none of em were exceptional. This chick Halston Sage was one of the only ones I recognized. I'm not gonna do my top 5 here because I don't know what the fuck it means.

They actually had an absurd list of singers there. I'd say a good third of the chicks they listed I didn't even know. Anyway, here's my top 5 hottest singers.

5. Jana Kramer
Remember when she burnt Dallas to the ground? Yeah that'll get you on this list.

4. Selena Gomez

3. Rihanna
I couldn't decide which one I wanted to use, so I went with both. Google imaging "Rihanna esquire" is one of the best things I've done in recent memory.

2. Taylor Swift

1. Katy Perry

Alright, KP takes the cake for the singers. A few honorable mentions are Kacey Musgraves, Ariana Grande, Carrie Underwood, Becky G, J-Lo. Lemme know if I'm missing anyone obvious.

This is probably gonna be a little harder, just cause there are so many actresses out there, and a so many of them are hot. Here are my top 5.

5. Blake Lively

4. Minka Kelly

3. Jessica Alba

2. Amber Heard

1. Margot Robbie

That was pretty much impossible. Others I considered were Mila Kunis, Anna Kendrick, Rachel McAdams (who I want to marry), Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johannson (the hair-do pictured above dropped her out, still unreal hot though), J-Law, and pretty much everyone else that's hot in Hollywood. 

Maxim's got a pretty good list of models but I think they're missing a few. Here's my top 5.

5. Candice Swanepoel

4. Alessandra Ambrosio

3. Adriana Lima

2. Miranda Kerr

1. Hannah Davis

If you're dating Derek Jeter, you're gonna be pretty high on any list I make, and in this case she's number 1 out of the models. Doesn't hurt that she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit either. Some others I considered were Karlie Kloss (pictured earlier), Emily Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner, Irina Shayk, and every other model pretty much.


This section wasn't part of the Maxim list but I thought it should be so I'm gonna do my top 5.

5. Maria Kirilenko

4. Lauren Thompson

3. Maria Sharapova
If you've been following this blog for a while you'd know Maria is my girl. Looking to catch some of her during the French Open going on right now. Need it.

2. Alex Morgan

1. Anastasia Ashley

She's the only surfer I know for a reason. Holy shit. 

The readers' top 10 was (from 10 to 1): Katy Perry, Jessica Alba, Sara Sampaio, Candice Swanepoel, Miley Cyrus, Adriana Lima, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Emily Ratajkowski, and Taylor Swift. Not a bad list. I can get on board with all of them except for Miley because she's just too gross with her weirdness and it bothers me, gone from sexy to gross real fast, and that Sara Sampaio chick just cause I have no clue who she is and doesn't belong in the top 10. 

So, without further ado, here is my top 10.

10. Rihanna
Rihanna drops 8 spots from last year cause she's done some weird shit lately, but stays in the top 10 due to pictures like this.

9. Taylor Swift
My girl Tay moves up 1 spot from last year because she's quite simply looked the hottest she's ever looked this year. With things like the Bad Blood music video and how she looked at the Billboard Music Awards, she's showing off her hotness a little more and it's moving her up.

8. Adriana Lima
Not entirely sure why or how I left her out last year, but oh well. She's in this year. No doubt one of the hottest chicks alive.

7. Minka Kelly
Still pretty pissed Jeter let this girl go. But he's doing fine with Hannah Davis, who is by my count hotter. Just something about Derek and Minka was awesome and wanted Jetes to lock it up.

6. Miranda Kerr
Miranda Kerr moves up 3 spots from last year. Not sure how that worked out, but I think it's the right move. She's just unreal hot.

5. Hannah Davis
Yeah, Derek's doing just fine.

4. Jessica Alba
I'm very confused as to why I left Jessica Alba off the list last year. Maybe I thought her time had passed? Who the fuck knows. But she's still one of the hottest chicks in the world.

3. Amber Heard
I forgot about Amber Heard last year and I'm pretty embarrassed about it. I'm not sure how many people even know who she is, and I'm not sure how many people would agree with her being in the top 10, let alone top 3. But, there is just something about this chick that does it for me. She just seems absolutely perfect. About as close as you can get to a perfect human being.

2. Margot Robbie
Another girl I have no idea why I left her off last year. Especially since last year she was coming off one of the hottest roles in movie history in Wolf of Wall Street. But whatever, I'm making up for it this year by putting her at number 2. She's still just as hot as she was in Wolf of Wall Street and to me, that's the second hottest chick alive.

1. Katy Perry
And Katy Perry defends her title! Did you really think I was gonna take KP out of the top spot? Woulda been stupid of you to think so. Because there is no way around it. Katy Perry is the hottest woman on the planet. 

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