Tuesday, March 31, 2015

This Whole Hitler Palm Analysis Thing Going Around the Internet Today is So Stupid

SourceIn order to gain insight into the behavior and personality of one of history's most brutal tyrants, palmist Josef Ranald analyzed Hitler's handprint prior to World War II.
In 1938, Ranald published his findings in his book, "How to Know People By Their Hands," even though he was concerned about giving too detailed a description of Hitler's palm.
Ranald feared that "others, finding signs similar to one or two of Hitler's in their own hands may assign to themselves the qualities which make Hitler what he is," he writes.
"For this reason, I wish again to emphasize that no single sign or set of signs can be read apart from the indications of the hand as a whole. It is only from the study of the totality of a hand that an accurate analysis can be made."
Ranald also studied the palms of Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Walt Disney.

Life Line

Hitler's line of life, which arches around his thumb, ends in a cross near the base of his hand. The cross signals a "violent end" to his life, according to Ranald.

Destiny Line

"This line marks the destiny of a man whose fate is out of his control," Ranald writes. Hitler's destiny line on his palm shows that he will serve "an awful, tragic role" in life.
"The destiny line, you will note, stretches unbroken and bare from its tragic beginning to its violent end," Ranald writes.

Underneath the Jupiter and Saturn fingers

The base of the Jupiter finger first shows that Hitler is a bully with "boundless ambition" that demands "blind submission from everyone," according to Ranald.
The base of the Saturn finger indicates "moodiness, wide swings from one emotional extreme to another [and] suicidal morbidity at one moment..." His fingers also show that he is delusional and obsessed with power.

Line of head

Hitler's line of head ends in the middle of his palm which indicates "some kind of weakness — functional or organic — of the brain," Ranald writes. 

Heart line

Hitler's short and broken heart line shows that he is frustrated, bitter, and cruel. "The broken, distorted girdle of Venus above the line of heart accentuates the destructiveness and unnaturalness of this hand," Ranald writes.

I don't wanna say that you can't tell anything about someone from looking at the lines on their palms cause I don't really know anything about it, but at the same time this is so dumb. Are we supposed to believe that this was some sort of telling sign that Hitler was a bad person? Hey guy, in 1938 wasn't Hitler already wanting to destroy Czechoslovakia and bullying Austria and starting to blame the Jews for everything and fucking peoples' lives up if they disagreed with him? Not that hard to say Hitler was a violent man while he's saying he wants to bomb the Czechs. Fuck this Ranald guy. Thinking he's on to something with this palm shit. I think it was pretty clear at the time that Adolf Hitler was gonna live a violent life. Don't need your analysis of his palm to tell me that. Oh he has nothing below his pointer finger? Must mean he's a bully! Oh really? That doesn't have anything to do with the fact that at the time he was firing people left and right if they didn't agree with him? This Ranald guy may be dead now but I hate him. Everyone else may see this shit and think you're a genius, but I'm on to you Josef Ranald. The theories in this analysis are literally just based on what Hitler was actually doing at the time. Like sick bro, you were following world events. That's really all I took away from this. That in 1938, Josef Ranald was following world events. I guess I'll give him credit for trying to scam the world into thinking he's a genius and make some money off some stupid book of hands. 

Here's another source that shows the palms of FDR and Mussolini as well. The guy says that FDR had "liberal views" and was "social minded." NO WAY! YOU THINK SO?! You could tell that all from looking at a picture of his fucking palm?! You sure that had nothing to do with the fact that he had just implemented the New Deal? You know, that whole huge series of social programs designed to get the US out of the Great Depression? Does that ring a bell Josef? I mean the supporters of the New Deal were called Liberals! No fucking shit FDR had liberal views and was social minded. This guy absolutely sucks. 

And he continued to spew his bullshit with the Benito Mussolini analysis. The guy called him an "oversexed, violent person." Oh damn Josef Ranald. I think you're on to something. Who woulda thought that the fascist dictator who was an ally of Nazi Germany and had a ton of mistresses was violent and oversexed? Thanks for reading his palms and telling us that though bro. Great work. Fucking idiot. If anyone read this in 1938 there's no way anyone was like "Hey guys did you see that palm reading book that nerd wrote? Probably shoulda locked up Hitler when he was six. All we had to do was look at his palms. So senseless!"

Is my hand okay?

Shit. Don't see anything below my pointer finger. Must be a bully. I don't even have a Destiny Line! Hitler's was long and unbroken, with a cross at one end. That meant he was out of control and his life was shit pretty much. So maybe I'm in control and have a good life? I'd be 1 for 2 on that one if that were the case. I have some of the worst self control you'll see from a human being. Buuut I do have a pretty good life. Don't really know what to say about everything else. Basically, I just think I'm not Hitler. Really needed this guy's analysis to tell me that though. 

P.S. No I'm not that good at history. I'm good but not that good. Had to double check the timing of things to make sure my points were valid. S/O to Wikipedia for that. 

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