Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Drunk Bro Falls Asleep on Train Tracks and Gets Run Over, But Survives

SourceA train in South Carolina rolls over a man who was passed out in the middle of the tracks, and the man's rescue was caught on camera.

No shit he survived. He was relaxed. Thank God for alcohol. If he's awake for that, he tenses up and dies when he gets run over (granted he might not be lying down on train tracks if he weren't piss drunk). This report is laugh out loud funny to me. Love the coroner. Just bringing props to the interview. Completely prepared for the newscast, and was completely prepared to throw this bro in a body bag. Just the hard truth of trains vs. pedestrians. The fact that the the bottle next to the guy was unspilled was awesome. Guy found a nice cozy spot to take a nap and was gonna continue getting hammered when he woke up. And the alcohol Gods were looking after him by keeping that bottle unscathed. Guy wasn't even bothered that a train ran him over. He was bothered that the cops woke him up. Love it. And I lost it when the one cop just says "absolutely amazing" and nothing else. Hey WYFF, was he really a necessary part of your report? Guy said two words, and he gets some TV time. And what's with the cops helping him walk to a stretcher? Like isn't that the point of a stretcher? Because the guy can't walk? It's a bummer the guy got taken away. Probably didn't get to finish the brew he had lying on the tracks. Also, nice job conductor, stopping on top of the guy, making it that much harder to get him out from the tracks. Good stuff.

P.S. The end of the report is the best. "They're hoping that this man's luck will train others to steer clear of the tracks because..." CHOOOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOO "...the conductor..." CHOOOOOO CHOOOOOO "...can't." Nice touch WYFF. Really needed the train horn to know we were talking about trains.

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