Billboard: Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley promised early on in the show that nothing was off limits, and they certainly held up their end of that statement, joking aboutTaylor Swift leaving country behind, Ebola, President Obama, Renée Zellweger, and even Underwood's pregnancy during the opening monologue of the 48th annual CMA Awards.
They kicked things off singing about "dearly departed" George Strait and how much they missed him. Imagine their "surprise" when the camera cut to Strait laughing in the audience. Just because you retired doesn't mean you stop showing up at events!
From there, there were plenty of pregnancy jokes from Underwood and Paisley about Underwood's baby bump. After Underwood secretly whispered the gender of her child to Paisley, Paisley seemed to blow it when he excitedly told Underwood later in the monologue, "We could name him Garth [Brooks]!" As Paisley then noted after Underwood's shocked expression, "Hashtag Brad Blew It." All just an elaborate bit, or was that Underwood's way of telling fans she'll be welcoming a baby boy before too long?
Elsewhere in the parody song-packed monologue, Paisley and Underwood sang a song about the recent nurse who refused to comply with the Ebola quarantine warning, set to the tune of "Jolene." Sample lyric? "Please don't affect my man."
As for the tall, skinny newly minted pop star-sized elephant in the room? Underwood and Paisley joked about an epidemic that was sweeping the nation: Post-Partum Taylor Swift Disorder, or PPTSD. (Saturday Night Live's Swiftaminecan probably help out with that.)
"President Obama doesn't care about PPTSD," Paisley joked a la Kanye West. "Who's gonna fill her shoes?" they sang. "Who's gonna be that tall? ...Country music is just gonna have to shake it off," they concluded, before noting that they hoped Swift would come back to country at some point.
Love this. This is why I love country music. Kinda pissed that I missed the CMAs but I saw this and had to write about it. Brad and Carrie always do a great job hosting the CMAs and didn't disappoint again this year, at least with this little segment. You bet your ass I'm pissed Taylor Swift abandoned country music, but at the same time you still gotta love her because her music is still awesome at an UNREAL level and she's making bank doing it. In case you missed it, she's the only one to sell 1 million copies of an album this year, and she did it in a week. So yeah, it sucks for country music that she isn't their star anymore. She's everyone's star. So coming up with the "Postpartum Taylor Swift Disorder" was a great move. It's not making fun of her, it's just letting her know that country music misses the country side of her. And to throw in there that it's Obama's fault that people are suffering from PPTSD was hilarious. And the crowd loved it. LOST IT when Brad Paisley says all Obama said to him was "no" when he asked him if he cared about people with PPTSD. Too funny.
P.S. I definitely have PPTSD, but I still love T-Swift. Is that allowed? I think it is. I think that's the point. Country fans just miss the "Tim McGraw" Taylor Swift but love her all the same. I don't know. Maybe people are actually pissed she's not country anymore. Who knows.
(That's one of the cutest faces I've ever seen Tay make. Don't even know what it is. Just dig it.)
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