Tuesday, September 30, 2014

San Francisco Locking Down The Weirdest City Ever Award

sourceAt about 6:57 a.m. on Monday, two adults were found on the 200 block of 14th Avenue stripped down naked in a city dumpster having "intimate relations" amid a heap of trash.  Afterward, the sexually charged pair had a smoke in the dumpster,  near flammable items, a witness told police.  The caller complained about the indecency, thus police responded only to find that the naked male had narcotics paraphernalia on him, according to police reports. "As the officers continued their investigation they were able to recover a large quantity of methamphetamine along with other items," says Captain Simon Silverman.

I'm just here to provide you with the weirdest story you'll hear all day, maybe all week. This is so San Francisco it hurts. The homeless people in that city are absolute FREAKS. All of them. They're the main reason that I hate homeless people so much.  I've been to San Francisco a few times and they always get up in your face and harass you. It's not like most other cities where they just mind their own business. They also have a tendency to wander around the city screaming most likely because they're high on PCP or whatever. To be honest, it's pretty unbecoming of them. I was crying laughing when I read this story. Just a couple of hobos bangin' it out in a dumpster at 7am while high on meth. If that's not living the American dream than I'm not sure what is and don't want to know what is. So they finished up and were in the process of being arrested and decided to light up some cigs next to flammable materials. Hahaha. Be dumber bums, you can't. You're literally going to blow everyone up because you're smoking cigs near flammable materials. I'm sitting here just imagining these two hobos finding this dumpster and being ecstatic. Oh this will be a great place to bone, honey! While I hate the San Francisco homeless people, I absolutely LOVE this story. 

P.S. I was in San Francisco a few years ago and it was my first night there, the first place I went was In N' Out Burger (duh) and we walked in and it was a packed house, there was a homeless man asleep with his face down in a bread bowl full of chowder from Panera. Great place to rip a little cat nap, good call bro. So the staff realizes how busy this place is and decides to kick him out as we're walking over to sit down at the table he was at. He gets angry and starts shouting at us and the staff and as he's walking by us he tries to grab my food of my tray. GET THE FUCK OUT OF TOWN BRO. You can hit me or whatever you want but do NOT try and steal my In N' Out. Probably the boldest move of all time. If I didn't have the incredible scent of In N' Out keeping me calm, god only knows what I would have done. 

P.P.S. This is Instagram account is INCREDIBLE. Well worth a follow.

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