Thursday, October 2, 2014

Sword-Wielding Man Attacks Woman's Car

Spartanburg County deputies said a woman's car was damaged in an attack involving a sword-wielding man on Wednesday.
Deputies were called to the Lil' Cricket on Reidville Road just before midnight and spoke to the victim who said a man damaged her car while she was getting gas.
The woman said a car pulled up behind her, then a passenger got out armed with a sword still in its sheath, according to the deputy's report.
The man then swung the sword at the woman, hitting her car on the rear driver's side door causing damage, deputies said. The man left before deputies arrived but two pieces of the broken sheath were left behind, the report stated.
The incident was caught on the store's camera. Deputies said an arrest warrant was issued for malicious injury to personal property less than $2,000 for Joshua Bryan Baker.

The lady didn't get hurt, so I can laugh at this right? Middle aged dude just pulls up to a gas station wielding a sword and slashes a random chick's car. Love it. Anyone who wields a sword is cool in my book. This dude is just straight out of Role Models. Probably thought he was still within the confines of LAIRE and thought he was making a huge kill. Who the fuck knows. Swords are just so a weapon of the past that anyone who wields one is either just trying to have fun, or a fuckin psycho. This guy didn't kill anyone, so I'm gonna go with the former. Dude's just trying to feel like a kid again. Sorry part of this lady's car got the shitty end of it, but sword guy wanted to fuck some shit up on his lunch break before he returned to his cubicle. Just trying to enjoy life by getting to do what he loves to do and that's wielding swords. Trying to get the most out of life before his desk job drives him certifiably insane. Wants to have fun with his sword before he turns into the psycho sword-wielding type of guy and starts killing people. So, for now, I'm all sword guy.

P.S. I'm never gonna say "carrying a sword" or anything like that. It's always "wielding a sword." Can't say it any other way. 

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